  I called kaela today and told her about what jordan said to me.  She flipped out and was egar to get a hold of his sorry ass.  She just couldn't believe how low he stooped and what all he said to his " good friend"  Yeah,  i cant wait for her to make him feel like shit,
 even more than i have.  But,  then. after all the anger and all the tears and all the hate jordan and i manged to fix it all tonite.  He pops up with his innocent like nothing ever happened " Hey"
 Yeah,  i told myself i wouldnt talk to him tonite,  but i didnt think he would have enough guts to even speak to me first.  I say hey.  He then asks what i'm up to and i tell him Alg 2 hw. not my normal answer,
 but remember,  im supposed to be pissed off.  He says hes not doing anything (  i didnt even return the " sup?  shows how much he pays attention)
 and he tell me he's going to do pre cal hw.  I say cool.  Another thing i usually dont say,  just reminding myself to keep my cool.  He then gets the nerve to ask how my day went. HOW MY DAY WENT?
 uh it was hell.  Considering i only got 3 hrs of sleep because of u and every time i thought about u i got mad again and how at lunch i cant eat or think because uve made me so damn mad and i can see u laughin with ur gay ass friends.  But,  i just tell jordan,  " yeah.
i guess"  20 mins go by and there's nothing. i know he thinks im mad at him,  i want him to.  i want him to feel like shit some more.  I then finally ask how his day went,
 he said good but boring almost instantly,  he must have been thinking of something to say to break the silence or waiting for me to say something.  It's always fun when you know you have someone on their tiptoes.  I then all the sudden say this " u know i dont really wanna talk about it right now,  but u know things arent really ever gonna be the same and i figured i prob wouldnt even talk to u tonite.
but i guess i did.  and he gives me this sad face and says " see i knew u were mad at me"  Yeah. he was right.  I was mad.
 But then he guesses why exactly im mad and he says something that makes no sense,  so i tell him the real reason and i say "  im pissed off because i was thinkin about how u said we were " good friends"  and u totally risked our friendship by gettin so low u just had to tell me u liked kaela.  i mean,
 u could have kept it to urself considering that she isnt single and has a bf u know. so u totally put that all out on the line like u didnt care and its not like u and kaela were gonna hook up or ne thing,  she has a bf!  so u could have kept it to urself and u should have,  knowing it would hurt one of ur " good friends"
 "  He calls me harsh.  I want to call him a dick,  but then he calls me Bozo. lol Yeah,  so what.
he makes me smile,  even when im mad.  It makes no sense to me.  Then i say something i would never think to say,  but it just came out so damn naturally and i cant take it back no matter how hard i really try,  but i said "
 lol i cant be mad at u jordan. i can be pissed yea. but i cant be mad,  just cuz i usually dont get mad u know. just think next time and dont be such a dick lol but at least now u can like and talk about ne girl u want and i wont care haha so thats good. i guess lol "
 He gives a smily and i say "  is that a smile cuz im not mad or cuz u dont have to worry about me liking u?  lol"  and his reply is " cus im glad u said u weren't mad at me that shows that ur a true friend"  Yeah.
 Ok.  I'm a true friend. yeah I AM but what about you?  jordan has a lot of learning to do and i cant blame him,  hes a guy. guys are just like that.
 I think.  But he doesn't get another chance.  I hope he thinks more next time.  I really wanted a long ass " im sorry"  I guess i didnt get it but oh well.
maybe kaela will make him feel so bad i get one in the long run.  hahaha Hey,  long ass " im sorry" ies are great. it lets u know ur loved or at least loved enough where a bunch of bullshit is made up to make you happy.
 hahaha I guess it's too early in life to hate people and to spend my days mad at some stupid guy because he said something uncalled for.  I have lost all " boyfriend"  feelings for him though,  those will never come back.  I hate that too.
 Jordan liked almost everything i liked and we thought on the same level and thought about a lot of the same things and had a bunch of the same views.  That sucks too.  But it will be a cold day in hell before i can ever like him again after that.  Who knows. it's winter and i bet hell gets cold too.  Well,
 after things are better and worked out he asked me if i need any alg 2 help tonite,  because usually i'll ask him for help.  But i had already asked aaron,  i wasnt going to ask jordan for anything at the time,  but hey it made me smile,  once more.
 How do i do that?  i got from mad pissed off julia who wants to scream and cry to smiling julia who just doesnt want to be mad at anyone.  " s) hes a brick and im drowning slowly off the coast and im headed no where"  shit happens.
 i'm tired of shit happening.  EAT SHIT!  LOL ok. now im better,  i at least hope so.  I'll be 16 in 1 hr and 20mins.
 YAY!
