  That's right, the marathon that has been these last 12 years of school will end in 25 freaking days. That's it......just 25 days and I will be a senior. Top of the heap, BMOC, whatever. I have a lot of conflicting feelings about the end of this year.
It's been a blur but it's also felt like forever since last summer. I want out of school so bad.....but then again I don't want to leave, I don't want the people who are graduating that I am close to forgetting about me and taking on a completely new identity. Sometimes it seems like there's no such thing as life after high school......maybe that's because there isn't. There's no such thing as the life you are accustomed to anymore, at least. From now on YOU are responsible for everything you are involved in. You make the decisions, you run the show. Why do people seem so ready to accept all of this? Are people really naive enough to believe that high school is the worst period of their lives? Seriously.....social pressures can suck but look at all your options....you can basically get away with whatever you want (unless it's extremely illegal) and you get off scot-free. This summer will be all about facing reality for me.......people whom I've only begun to know yet I feel so extremely close to are leaving, for good.
There's no coming back to high school; maybe that's a good thing but it almost feels tragic in a way. I'm glad they will be having the time of their lives off at wherever they may be, but this is the end of the line as far as a close relationship goes.
I've got one more year and the last thing I want to do is waste it worrying about people who have moved on, but after these past few months I dread the thought of moving on myself. The sucky thing is I know I did this all to myself.......everything that I will be experiencing at the beginning of next year is because I committed way too quick and didn't realize that there wasn't anything I could do to change the way people felt about me. It's going to suck in August when I look for that familiar face and realize she'll never be there again..... Well having gotten that off my chest......life isn't too bad I guess.
3 more weeks plus an exam week and school is over with. Couldn't be happier about that. Football is supposed to start back up next week and I'm pretty excited. Don't know what the heck we will do next year, but at this point I know we don't really have anywhere to go but up. Plus get this......we are going to PASS *gasp* the ball next year! Unbelievable! To be honest I'm a lot more excited about basketball.....I mean who wouldn't be? There will be 8 seniors on the team for sure, we're probably playing even more games, and we might be in 2 different leagues this summer...wow I really can't wait.
This weekend was........alright. Friday I didn't get to do jack because I had to take the SAT Saturday morning @ Grapevine. It went pretty good; I was confident but then again you can never really tell how you actually did on those things. That night.......I lost all masculinity and caved in to go see "13 Going on 30". Yeah, I know you're going to rag me for it....but in all honesty it wasn't horrible.
Cheesy? Oh yeah....but not overly sappy. Plus, Jennifer Garner + lingerie + short skirts = sex. This week I have the 2 most important tests in my life........AP History and English. Is it bad that I really don't care to study for either of them? Oh well.....what blows is that they are on BACK TO BACK DAYS! How gay is that?!? dklwetqauewoa'hiw432ohgi2;4eh.ajkgafd;oih'uy43i!#J%I!UT! Hope y'all have a good week..... 
