  Inconclusive Hold on folks, trying to right the ship. So about a week or so ago I had a dream things would turn out as they did last night. I really wasn't sure how it would go, but I really didn't plan on believing my dream. For the love of God, I've dreamt about giant crabs in loafers chasing me down the beach, why would my subconcious suddenly get serious? So Val and I sat down and talked last night. I don't plan on telling you much more than that, other than things will remain the way they are.
Maybe I screwed myself by forcing her to sit down and talk to me before she seemed particularly ready, but I've eaten out the inside of my head over urlLink this (see: Process ) for the last two months. Yes I realize that date is only a month and a half away, Copernicus, that was just reference material. Before everybody starts feeling bad for me, which apparently I am very good at, let's all remember that I broke her heart first and caused this whole situation. That's probably the toughest part of the whole thing; that I was the starting domino, he is in her life because of me and blah, blah, blah, you all get it by now. All I can do now is walk away with my pockets full of learned lessons and some helpful hints to anyone who finds themselves in my situation: 1. You're an idiot, Run and hide now, you're only going to make it worse. 2. Things are only as complicated as we make them.
I'm really good at making mountains out of anything, mole hills, hand puppets, you name it, I can make a mountain out of it. 3. God I hate it when things end this way. In my head, I am the right choice, and of course, totally objective... 4. Walk away and let it go. I've cornered the market on holding on and feeling bad, it's my market share and I busted my hump to get it.
So move on cowboy, move on. 5. Nobody is ever ready, whether they think they are or not, and time is my enemy. 6. Sweet Jesus Almighty, I have the most irrational hatred for the Toyota Tacoma pickup truck. So I am less than joyous that this has gone the way it has, but I did go all out and give all I could. Trying to right my own follies is insanely difficult. So now I stand here, ready to be the friend I am needed to be. I'd like to thank T-bone for letting me borrow her jeep today. I didn't want to worry about where I was going to park when I got back from physical therapy and she was nice enough to let me borrow her car, complete with Northeastern Parking Pass. Driving stick was somewhat therapeutic, albeit cramping in traffic on Interstate 93. Judas is getting smacked around in physical therapy, trying to loosen his bitch-ass up.
I've got some IT band stretches to do at home and we'll just have to see how it goes. I'd like to send out an apology to Miss Curtis. I made a less than respectable comment about her which was uncalled for. Now she is being cryptic to me, which is worse than being mad. It's like trying to read a book, blindfolded, upside down, and underwater. Sorry Jessica. I graduate in a month and a week.
Time to get it together and end this collegiate career on top. What does that mean? Like I have a clue, but it's going to be a lot better than it has been and everybody better be wearing protective eye wear. I'm ripping through April like I have a month to live and everything to give. Clutch your underpants. You know my name, you've got my number. The choice is yours. (A.P.T. 7:16 p.m.) 
