  Time Flies Time Flies no matter whether we are having fun or not. Time flies so fast Im nauseous and jet-lagged. The only time that time seems slow is when patience is tested. Doctors offices. College Registration. Voting.
Lectures. Grocery Lines. Traffic. No watch around here has the exact time. It doesnt feel like 8:30. It doesnt feel like April.
I dont feel 21. But, I am. Ive always pondered how neat it would be to stand in front of a mirror, watching closely, as even my own face changed. Im sure that I still wouldnt meter the change so well. Id just get used to the changes and make claims that I had always looked that way. Part of me still has the same perspective as the high school graduate of 99.
My humor is not as dark, but Im colder. Maybe I am more caring, but I find it harder and harder to be. Ive been awakened from many of the dreams I had. Yet, I keep praying to dream them again. Sometimes I dont think Id care so much if I was completely ignorant. I just want to be hopeful again.
Yes, I have hope in Christ that comforts me through all of this turbulence. When does the smooth sailing begin? I know better than to ask. They say with knowledge comes pain. Im not the smartest guy in town, but I know enough to have a headache. I never asked to eat form the tree of knowledge.
I just take without asking. Whats with all my rambling? Oh, Im just trying to make sense of it all. Part of me does still feel 18. But, Im not, despite what all the people at church think. Im 21 with a short win column and lengthier losing streak.
I havent done much with myself. Id like to get my head straight. My college career has been my security blanket. Just call me Linus. But that will be taken away in a year. I dont know if Im any more ready now than I was then, standing on a stage of pomp and circumstance silently pledging to make more of myself.
Right now, I can sound ambitious. Im majoring in Christian Education. I want to be a Minister of Education. " What happens when I graduate from here? I want to stay in college forever, well ten more years would be nice. If I could stay in that long, maybe I could move right into being a professor.
Right now, Im still learning how to be what I aspire to be. As soon as I hold that diploma people expect me to be that. Theyll call me grown, by every definition. That doesnt mean I will be. It doesnt even mean Ill be able to fake that whole grown-up image. 
