  Okay, so talking with some friends yesterday at a restaurant, we got to talking about how Bre has pretty much broken up with me, which, at least in my opinion, SUCKS! Bre and I had been Best friends all throughout 7th grade, and 8th grade, although, yes, we did grow apart in 9th-11th, I didn't ever think that we wouldn't/couldn't be friends anymore. And then it occurred to me, we can't be friends, because she's become friends with Slectues. So that sounds HORRIBLE, we can't be friends because of her friend, but I think that's really true.
So wow. yeh While talking with my friends I had a sad sudden realization, that's two time that Slectues has made it so that people have "broken up" with me. :*(. and now I know why we can't get along...at all. The whole Matt ordeal I spose she REALLY didn't do, she just went along with. And I didn't and couldn't be mad at her for that. Which, I wasn't. I guess we were okay when they were going out too. BUT when Matt broke up with her, and was talking with me again, she was really mean to me. And I didn't do anything, just went along with it.
(breaking up with Jodye doesn't count here, if you had talked to me at ALL about him the LAST MONTH of school, you knew that I thought we were having a hard time anyways). So that's when I really starting being mean to her. (it's really hard to be nice to someone, that's mean to you - - I don't care what the Bible says about it- - it's REALLY hard) SO yeh. after a few months of this, I told Cassi, to tell Slectues that I wanted to be cool with her, to be friends with her, to stop all the crap that was going on.
The next day Slectues came up to me we talked about it, smiled, and then hugged. People still kept coming up to me though, thinking I would diss Slectues. They'd ask me a question, and I'd give them an answer, but that was all(contrary to belief). I think when people went up to Slectues though, and asked a question, she's answer it, and well...continue to diss me. So I decided it wasn't worth it, and I pretty much tried to erase her from my memory. Then, Bre started hanging out with her. One day I got on to my expage, and there was a message in the guestbook, from who I knew was Bre. It was the beginning of the "break up. " I tried to defend myself, as did she, but she wasn't the one under attack, so it made the whole situation REALLY weird. SO yeh my best friend of at least two years, and a friend(at least) for 2 more...isn't my friend anymore. and it's really tearing me up. I've told Cassi and Cassi's mom about this, and it tore me up so much, that I couldn't even tell my mom, until about 2 weeks after it happened.
So I told her, and now she's upset too. oh well. I'll get through it. I usually do. So I'm fine except I have the worst thought going through my head now, that could ever go through. and that is : "Is Slectues better than me now? This is the only reason I could possibly think that;-she's made two people break up with me, to be with her- or am I just really confused?
or pissed, or sad, or sick to my stomach with the whole Bre thing STILL tearing at me...and maybe even a little of fear, and she could take another one of my closest's friends from me? Or do I really have more than her, that I don't have to take other people's things? can someone help me with this?! " so, the worst thought, has come out, and well. I kind of hope she reads this... -tori 
