  posted in blinding white resilience &nbsp; i'm standing in front of my ex. the one from england.. he's talking to me, i see his lips moving.. but can't quite make out his words.
he's standing in the open door of a two tone pick-up truck. only because i know my ex, does this thought seem completely ridiculous.. he's a car person. even more ridiculous, there is a jet-ski in the back. finally his words come to the proper volume. "i'm going to be up all fucking night Sarah. " *i say something that i've already forgotten* "you see i have to give myself these injections now..." he whips out this HUGE syringe with a needle on it that resembles a super long finishing nail. he's wearing nice jeans and one of those puffy down vests, it's navy blue. the needle rips a hole in the vest as he shoves it into the left side of his abdomen.
i cannot look away. he finishes up and puts away. smiles at me. "what has happened to you. " "no time to explain, i'm going now, i want to go shopping at the urlLink GAP tomorrow.. will you go with me? " "i hate to shop, YOU KNOW THAT! " "sarah... it was the strangest thing.. there was this girl outside my dorm room, masturbating..." "shaun... i don't want to hear this..." &nbsp; "i found her and said.. hey, there's no need for that, come into my room...." "SHAUN!!!
" i grab his face&nbsp;with both hands.&nbsp; "I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR THIS!!!! " i tear myself away from him. i end up on the other side of his truck, my head in my hands sobbing. i've never been more thankful to wake-up... 
