  Our culture is under a severe attack. These invaders are clever at their wily craft. They infiltrate our home terrain and ingratiate themselves until we cannot see their presence.
This is when we are most vulnerable, for when we are the most comfortable, this is when we are struck. These stealthy and unexpected attacks are a shocking and unjustified afront to our ordinary citizens. An innocent mother and child should not have to worry as they are eating dinner or sleeping peacefully about being trodden on by these clearly evil assaulters of our freedom.
We are referring, of course, to these terrible occurrances that have been becoming more and more prevalent in the past years. Our honourable and upstanding citizens should not have to be subjected to the sheer humiliation of being forced into tiny prisons by these invaders from above. These children, they have no sense of dignity or shame when commiting their terrible crimes. The emotional and physical trauma that our brave compatriots are subjected to on a daily basis by these outsiders who try to regulate our lives is immense and intolerable. They try to tell us when and how to eat, they give us different houses, they torture us with the corpses of our fellow species. Clearly, these people are vicious and revel in the horror of their own crimes against us. We shall not stand for this any longer.
They must be stopped, and stopped they shall be. We will rise up against this new embodiment of evil. From this day forth, let all who are with us have a new hope for a peaceful future, free from fear, and all those who are against us tremble and repent from their ways, as they realize that we will not be defeated, for our desire for freedom is stronger than their desire to subdue us. The Grasshopper Liberation Front 
