  I was going to sit down and rewrite my shopping list before Vicente arrived, just so I'd have all the items grouped by type (hygeine, fresh food, frozen pizza, etc.). Then I realized that I'm a loser if this is all I have to do, so I poured some champagne and read the new Lucky magazine. Gwen Stefani is hot, goddamnit. I envy her belly (actually, lack of belly). Let's just assume she does more than 8 Minute Abs. Back to the list...I worked with a girl once who loved making lists. She was obsessive about it. Mary/Lisa can vouch for this. We'd be on break from horrible government job, drinking wine coolers in the cafeteria at three (I kid you not), and Stinky's wife would be making out lists. Lowe's List, Home Depot List, Kroger List, Albertsons List (she didn't shop at Tom Thumb, my grocery store of choice), Weekend Gardening and Lawn List, Housecleaning List, Stinky To Do List, Home Office List, Pet List and Must Call This Week List. Oh, and then she'd make a Master List of all above referenced lists. What was really scary was when they went on vacation. Ideas For Vacation List, Prices of Ideas For Vacation List, Vacation Budget List, Clothes Stinky And I Will Wear On Vacation List.
You get the idea. She also had a Man Face and her hair had not changed in style since 1982. I saw her three years ago...nope, still the same. Maybe she was waiting for the style to come back? It doesn't matter...I'm quite sure it didn't look good then, either. Stinky got his name from something his wife-to-be (at that time) said about him. I won't repeat it. Just reinforced my reasons to turn him down when he asked me out three months before meeting Man Face.
I once gave Mary/Lisa a card with some Vikings choosing sides for volleyball on the front, and it said, "We don't want Stinky on our team! " I think that was the same time that M/L laughed so hard she farted, and then laughed that much more. I used to like lists when I was younger. When I didn't really have anything to do. Lists now infuriate me, since I don't ever typically complete all items on the list.
I think lists are counterproductive - I don't need another symbol of my failure to get anything done at work. I have constant reminders of that already. Wonder whatever happened to Stinky and Man Face? I swear, if she ever got knocked up, she would have a Labor List. If the doctor and Stinky get lucky, she'll be knocked out with a planned C-section. Yeah, list this ! Copyright 2004 Non-Girlfriend 
