  I get a hell of a lot of my titles from things Vicente says to me. And from Donnie Darko and Seinfeld . I only quote the best, babies. Last night, V went out with vendors and misbehaved . This morning, I call him and he is suffering from a hangover headache. "Drink some Coke, real Coke.
The sugar and caffeine will help. " "Drink some ice water, too. Take aspirin or ibuprofen. " Vicente deadpans, " Tips from Chicken . " How sad is it that I'm handing out anti-hangover tips and cures for the morning after? Maybe I should take my show on the road?
College campuses everywhere could benefit. Hell, junior high schools these days could benefit. EXCITING DAY TOMORROW! I get to meet with someone about urlLink nongirlfriend . I feel like throwing up from nervousness but I'll be fine. Besides, when do I ever NOT feel like throwing up?
I just won't eat lunch tomorrow so I won't vomit on the guy. That might make for an awkward meeting. This post is dedicated to urlLink Ninsi , who applauds my multiple-postings, and to urlLink Bunny , who gets after me when I only post once a day. Big, wet , MAC Lipglass kiss to you both. Currently, I am wearing Lovechild. A girl at work lost her grandmother today.
For those of you who pray (I do), say one for her and her family. Or at least keep her in your thoughts. She sounded simply terrible. Her name is Erica. She also goes by Susan, Sybil and Eria. But that's another story altogether.
THYME TO CHOP MY HAIRS The back of my do is getting long enough to braid, which is a nervous habit (among many ) that I have. I really don't know how anyone has long hair, unless they're constantly popping Xanax. I'd have cornrows all over my head if I did. Right now, there are about seven braids in my short hair. I look like Pippi-Longstocking-Meets-Carrot-Top-With-A-Bad-Dye-Job . GRRRR The babies are making me insane.
Try three barking Min Pins in a house full of hardwood floors. The noise can become unbearable. Perhaps I could write the modern-day version of The Yellow Wallpaper and sub those yapping dogs for a baby? It would certainly be more timely. FRUGAL SHOULD BE A FOUR-LETTERED WORD I am not above accepting charity. There are shoes to be had.
Please, send money. I do accept PayPal, you know. Before I sign off to do my ng business plan, I'll leave you with one more Vicente quotation ...I was defending psychotic behavior with the tried-and-true "I'm a female" excuse, when he retorted and I was speechless. He asked me a question: "Didn't your alien ancestors tell you this? " Which one of you told him ? Copyright 2004 Non-Girlfriend 
