  I'm not going to bash anybody or anything now. Just bashed someone over the issue of mormonism. And my previous posts have been pretty uhhhh, "bashful". I shall be more upfront now, talk about my life, my dreams goals stuff like that. My life right now has pretty much hit a transition, a time where I feel like I have to move on with things. Quite abit of things, even though spurred on by recent friendships and love, it goes beyond just simply on a inter-personal or relational level.
I'm at a point when I feel that I would like to discover more of the world, more of myself. I do not want to put myself in a box, because I haven't seen the different boxes which i can confine myself in, and I cannot make an objective decision, just like communist china, I can't see the world and more of it unless I get to see the different boxes which I can confine myself in, and soon, it won't be confinement, but security. Yea yea, I'm getting metaphysical on your ass, so whatever. My love life is yet another story, private, so I won't elaborate, only to those whom I told my stuffs to only. And if you are not one of them, don't worry, you're pretty normal, there are 6 billion minus uhhhh a few people, whom are like you. Relationally, I've actually learnt to communicate with people on a more deeper level, thanks to a few people for helping me, and teaching me how to open up.
I realize that hanging out is great, but being able to share your life with people is even greater. As for my dreams and ambitions, i do have a few, actually I'm quite interested in visual arts and hope to learn how to do surreal or abstract paintings someday. and its like, someday, not anytime soon. Intellectually, I hope to read more and hopefully write full-sized essays and crystallize all my thoughts and ideas, and would like to master the fundamentals of sociology before the end of this year, I wanna go bash people. And musically, as for guitar, I definitely hope to play better. Master the pentatonic scale and all the major modes by the end of this year as well.
Brush up on my alternate picking, and at least be able to do some decent shred. as for piano, I intend to learn more chords, scales theory, more songs, be able to improvise in different styles and timing. As for the long term, I intend to go to JC, (poly is still fine). Take an arts course and do a degree in Sociology, hopefully in a local U. Afterwards becoming a teacher. That's the mainstream stuff, y'noe Singaporean get a degree get a job kinda thing.
But i also intend to teach guitar, and gain street cred, performing in watering holes, anywhere. Also, I would like to be a recognized authour, street cred is important yet again, and hopefully gain some as an undergrad in the U. Writing books about sociology and philosophy, and also hope to educate normal people, and break complex social and philosophical theories down to bite-sized pieces much later after I've established myself. Which i hope my training and experience as a teacher can help. I hope that it would take root among young people around my age, because such stuff works wonders, if you're into chemistry or physics, its called being a nerd imo of course. If you're into sociology, philosophy and all, it gives you insight on everyday life, and its much more practical.
It also helps you to mature quite abit, (not trying to say I am. ) But you get to understand the driving force behind MTV and pop culture, and not be a "ben xiao hai". And most importantly, people our age need some credibility, adults can con you into believing alot of crap.Soon, you can outtalk your parents in alot of stuff, seriously, it has practical uses. But if you're aware, you know what's right and wrong, and not blindly follow what a church, or your parents or whatever tell you. You dictate your values, guided by the wisdom of God, (if you're not atheist). I'm on the brink of bashing so I'll stop.
Also, where guitar is concerned, I hope to be like satch, starting out as a teacher then an artist. And soon it goes from there. But I don't intend to follow his footsteps musically because I believe individual style is most important where music is concerned. Back to the short term, relationships. Just have the sudden urge to talk about this. Actually my previous love experience have been kinda dramatic, for me that is.
And I seriously have learnt alot. It has also served as a yardstick, if any love is not as life-changing and deep, it is not love at all. I can say that my expectations of what a relationship should be like has gone up a notch or two, maybe even a hundred. Seriously, now I know how to differentiate feelings and how am I able to tell if a relationship'll work or not. Sometimes its hard to accurately predict, but there are still ambigious markers. I have learnt a few things in this past love experience.
(in fact, I'm still having it). Now, its like a hangover, but I can't guarantee that I won't go get drunk again tonight. Yea, one of the thing I have learnt is that the best person is not what matters. but rather, its the best relationship. I can't help but to scoff at people who make checklists of their dream guy and dream girl, and go after any guy/girl who happens to magically fit into it. Nah, that's one thing I learnt, its not gonna work.
What matters most is a relationship with trust, communication and depth. And seriosuly, if its not gonna be like what I experienced, its 2nd best to me. I'm not talking about romanticism or something very blatant. It can be more sedate and sublime and perhaps taking on different forms. But after all, in our hearts we would be able to gauge the amount of depth, trust and communication in every relationship. I don't think I'll indulge in any relationship for the time being, I need to relieve my days as a bachelor yet again.
You don't have to be attached to be a bachelor, you're a bachelor when your heart is free and not owned by anyone, whether that person knows it or not. ah whatever, done. 
