  My favorite season is the fall. I love the changing colors and the way things have to die in order to become new again in the spring. This happens every year. Well, when I fall, it's the same thing but there's a slight difference. I fall and it's a death that I die daily. When I first heard the saying that we each have to die daily, to be perfectly honest, I hated it.
I rebelled against it. I did not want to have to die daily. I wanted to live, to love, and to develop in the life God gave me without having the pangs of death constantly on me. What I couldn't understand is that the only way to develop is to revel in my "fall season. " I mess up. SO MANY TIMES!
I'm only human, and not anywhere close to being fully cooked or finished in the kiln and firing process. Monty said today that he felt like he had been taken off the Potter's wheel and is ready for what God has next for him. That's where I feel I'm at. I'm ready for the fire, I'm ready for the kiln. What I didn't expect was how the fire would burn me. Working with clay is one of my favorite things in the world to do, so I know what happens when a pot is fired and there is some kind of imperfection or an air bubble in the clay.
The pot becomes something different. It can take on a different shape or, in the worst case scenario, it can break into a thousand tiny fragments. Well, I'm in the kiln. The fire has been turned on. And there's been an imperfection revealed. My bubble has burst.
Since I can't see myself through God's eyes, I don't know the extent of the damage. Have I simply taken on a different form and am still usable? Or are there pieces that need glued together? Only time can tell. This pot has become broken, I think. And has fallen in between the spaces of the shelves.
What kind of glue is God going to use to put me back together? Will it be a long process? Will it be one of those 5,000-piece puzzles that takes even the puzzle-pro some time to figure out? What I want to know, most, is how will He display His craftmanship? Will He want to? Yes, He loves to show off how creative He is.
But, will I want to be shown off? How completely humbling to have to show my cracks where the glue has not quite made invisible. And who will it help? God, please use me. Use as much glue as You can. Just piece me back together so I can be filled with the Water.
Fill in the gaps so You aren't leaking out, but are POURED out onto Your people. And keep using me to pour and to serve. Just, please, don't leave me broken. And don't let me hide my imperfections anymore. Let me flaunt them like the battle scars they are! 
