  That Crazy Missy I don't know what it is,  but I have this boy I've liked for forever it feels, nbsp; and& nbsp; no matter what I do I can not move on,
 I just can't,  I just keep going out with boys, nbsp;  I keep hoping this one will be the one that makes me stop caring. nbsp;  But they never are,
nbsp;  after a while I become numb,  and then the boys lose interest in me because I've become cold. nbsp;  Then I try to hold onto them,  because I need a distraction,
 because I don't want to think about him anymore. nbsp;  Sometimes,  I go months not thinking about him at all.  I think maybe this time is it,  I'm over him,
 I really am.  I can try and go out and have a normal relationship. nbsp;  Wishful thinking I guess. I even try to think about it logically,  because the guy&
nbsp; isn't that great. nbsp;  Like it's like that Shakespeare sonnet about,  this man whose in love with this woman,  who isn't perfect,
 but he still loved her,  and that's how he is, nbsp;  I just like all of his flaws,  and believe me when I say there are quite a few of them. nbsp;
 But he's human. nbsp;  he's real,  and he's nuts,  and childish,  and he can't talk to me to save his life,
 he drinks too much, nbsp;  but he has the best smell ever,  and he's a romantic in theory,  not so much in practice,  he's not very impulsive.
 But he is passionate. nbsp;  He knows how to grab a girl and kiss her hard. nbsp;  He's obnoxious and sneaky,  and just fascinating to me.
nbsp;  Just such a waste of time for me too wish for.  Where as I am not so interesting to him,  and apparently too sexual.  which is bullshit,  and anybody who actually knows me,
 knows that. nbsp;  But he's waiting for this dream girl,  and by dream I do really mean dream,  he has had about five or six dreams about her and believes he will find& nbsp;
her someday,  and for his sake I hope he does,  I really do.  I should really stop obsessing over somebody that in the end isn't worth my time. nbsp;  I have to let one of the nice guys have a chance.
nbsp; nbsp;  I shouldn't waste somebody else's time like he wasted mine,  or how I wasted my time I should say. How does somebody begin to let go of something you've hoped for for so long,  I feel like I'm quitting.
 like I just didn't try,  but if I try any harder the boy is gonna get a restaining order. I'm gonna stop being an asshole,  too myself and to those around me. in like a month or four.
