  PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA - Representatives of Louisville-based Kentucky Fried Chicken, the world's most popular chicken restaurant chain, announced that their company has refused a plea by the U.S. government to "sponsor" the Iraq war. One representative said that Pentagon officials told him the price tag for the war was getting too high. "They asked us for money," said KFC's Colonel Sanders, "and we made it clear to them that KFC is not interested. We are in business for chicken and chicken only. " The Pentagon reportedly offered KFC exclusive rights to build chains in Baghdad, as well as the right to advertise on U.S. military equipment, if KFC accepted the offer. KFC representatives also claimed that the offer included a promise to include KFC foods in all Bush campaign commercials. "We did consider the offer but we decided that it would not serve the interests of KFC worldwide," said KFC's "Chickie" mascot.
Pentagon officials have refused to comment publically. However, Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz told journalists privately that the Pentagon was mot happy with KFC's decision. "We are certainly surprised," said Wolfowitz, "but we are determined to find the money we need. " The financial troubles for the government come after President George W. Bush used the money to pay for a retirement program for chimpanzees. The White House has so far refused to comment. 
