  gads, I'm freaked! having both feet butchered tomorrow by surgeon. but it's gotta be done, it's important I know. but I'm gonna be naked under an easy-access smock, dosed up with some kinda heavy narcotic, having strangers poking at me!!! doesn't anyone understand? I'm freaked out! lordy knows what else they will do to me while I'm "under"!
and there is just something so unnatural about metal and flesh. it's a day away and I'm already out of my gourd... two key words for you: urlLink bone shaving maybe I'll treat myself to a shopping spree, get some urlLink possum fur nipple warmers ... oh so sexy... come on baby, get some fur between your teeth... urlLink stop eating poop urlLink ooga booga didn't have the greatest of conversations with d last night. maybe I shouldn't take us to heart like I have been? little does he know, while I'm laughing on the phone with him, I also have sword in hand fending off the demons who tell me to ditch & run before I get hurt, and I have been courageous in this battle, until last night when his fear shook hands with mine.
every woman wants to feel she is very special... I see red flags when someone sets limits on what we *should* be feeling, rather than just letting it happen... feelings don't follow a linear timeline, yes? ...talking so casually after such intimacy...? I assumed good feelings all around. Whether it was meant or not, I heard doubt. a corner of my heart broke a little, my feelings are hurt. and I'm not sure how to mend it. I'm waaaaay too emotional about tomorrow to think about this any more - and freaky emotions about tomorrow very well could be latching themselves onto surrounding circumstances...
I'll likely let it go: attribute it to urlLink surgical freak . The white coats! They're coming for me!! I am such a fucking freak!... maybe I can find a stylish straight-jacket to go with my new velcro shoooooes... "I'm so pretty! Oh so pretty! " 
