  Right now I have like a million thoughts running in my head... I don't even know how I feel!!! (this is a sign of a moody blog...) I have been waiting to see the BL's for about 2 MONTHS now!!! I was freakin hyperventilating this morning! And becuase of the stupid, dumbass Stepford's Wives movie... I missed it!!! I am in complete outrage!!! Yeah, it was great coming in there, and joke around how consistent I am...being late for their SECOND gig... How much of a supporter am I? And it was realllllly nice(for lack of better word use) for Eric to hang out with us over coffee and just chat. That sorta compensated for missing out the show, but I really wanted to see them play and sing and actually go to a LIVE band concert! (Other than Josh Groban's) And I'm just completely dumbfounded by this whole experience today! I actually felt uneasy talking with Eric, cause I felt like I was doing all the talking and everyone else was like... why does she keep talking? can't she shut-up? And I saw the look on their face when we were talking about Mass. It was sorta like "alright...exclude us out...we don't know what she's talking about..." I know I know...
I sound like I'm putting myself down excessively... but how can I not feel this way, when lately, everything seems to never go my way. And it's not like I want all the attention in the world and people serve me seedless grapes on a silver platter while I'm in my Egyptian Cotton lined bed! You know what? I don't even know WHAT to expect from people now. Before, all Alisa has been talking about was Andrey Slezko and how she liked him and then hated him, etc... Andre and Irina talk about their horrible house life.
And lately all Catherine is doing is sulking around and panickingly thinking of what to say to her hearthrob Tom the next time she's gonna see him. Don't get me wrong. I love my friends. And I am more than happy to have them pour their hearts out to me; just the fact that they trust me enough to tell me their feelings, wow, what an honor! But I guess I don't understand one thing... why can't I ever spill my feelings out to them. Why don't I have enough... I dont know what... to say, "this is what's going on in my life, and this is how I feel about you, you, and you. " ??? Or when I actually DO tell them my deepest darkest secrets... I guess this "oh...okay" reaction. Anywho... maybe I'm just overexaggerating or maybe I'm just in a shitty mood after this whole concert situation...
I felt Catherine and Alisa's not wanting to be there. Catherine never even spoke! That's one thing I don't get about her... she doesn't take compliments easily. She puts herself down too much. Why??? Anyway, the Stepford's Wives was a total waste of VALUABLE time and money. And I'm forever gonna hate it cause it will remind of what happened today. What I guess I'm trying to say is... that I always do things that everyone else comes up with, like let's go to the park, or, lets watch Stepford's Wives!
And when I decide to announce 2 months ago to go watch the freakin Bloody Lovelies show, it doesn't happen cause once again, Olga has been too nice to speak out and say NO! This is ridiculous! I'll compile my happy list tomorrow, for I don't want to ruin my angry mood that I've been building up..................................................................................... 
