  mood:  depressed/ freaked out music:  warsaw-  joy division oh man.  Cheyennes mom is a psycho anal bitch.
 Cheyenne is so fucking cool,  but wow.  Her mom is fucking crazy.  points to cheyenne for being able to deal with that.  i had a really shitty day,  i guess.
 i woke up all early cause my stomach hurt,  and then i had to go hang out with old people,  and i was having a relaly really ugly day so i did all this stuff to make me feel pretty and then i was so excited cause i was going to go hang out with dylan cause i dont know.  the 4th of july makes me all sad cause everyones always so coupley and romantic and shit and im usually single.  so as dumb as it sounds,  i was really looking forward to this year.
 Then i call dylan about 8 and hes all " oh,  im going home 'cause i feel like it"  which just made my day .  and the thing is i blew off a bunch of people and then the person who i thought was least likely to just blow me off.  blew me off.
 and didnt even call me.  whatever.  i'm sure you all dont care.  i just.  hate this.  and then he said hed call later,
 which of course he didnt.  maybe something else is wrong and he just doesnt want to tell me.  or maybe im being a stupid little girl.  or maybe its a jolt into reality that its not all perfect.  anyway.  weve been fighting lately and it makes me reallly sad.
 like the ther day i yelled at him for constantly making fun of my friends and then we both got all mad and didnt fix anything.  but i dont think he'll change,  i dont want him to change,  i hate that when girls drag their boyfriends aorund and change everything about them.  anyway,  so then i sat there moping for a while,
 then went and met up with cheyenne,  ko,  and john.  and then we hung out with a bunch of people i dont like on top of mesa and watched the fireworks from all different cities.  and then we went back to ellies house and blew shit up.  :
sigh:  im so sickeningly in love with that stupid boy that it really hurts.  And the great thing is he doesnt try to make it better cause he thinks he'll make it worse or something.  : frustrated:  im talking to sean.
 hes out of his coma.  woah.  this is really intense.  and he has brain damage.  i want a naked ducati monster 620.  like that.
 i just got all pouty and emo,  and i want to go to bed.  i guess ill just see if dylan will deal with shit or run away.  my back hurts and im tired.  nightnight all of you!  ~
abby 
