  mood: sad , alone, unwanted music: here comes the sun - beatles i realized today that i have HORRIBLE self-esteem. honestly. i constantly feel ugly and im always questioning whether my friends and boyfriend think im just a stupid little girl.
And i am freaking out because im neurotic and drunk(ish) and because i have bad self-esteem. and im going crazy about dylan. i havent seen him once outside of gamelan, we havent really spent anytime together, and the otehr day he said something that freaked me out. god, i hope hes not fucking cheating on me. i want to be with him and go to santa cruz with him and i love him to death.
i dont know. im neurotic. im going to grow up to be alices mom. well, fuck. im getting all emotional and teary and shit and so im going to go. i hate every 4 months. sorry for such a lame, depressing post. i guess im just as depressed as the rest of the damn world. i hope chewy's ok.... ~abby p.s. my bullet belt did NOT come. grrr... 
