  mood:  trying really hard to be proud of who i am music:  lifestyle of rebellion-  aaa Wow.  what a shitty day.  I went to gamelan and i was in like,  a " hold me"  kind of mood cause i was just sad,  and everyone else was in an angry mood,  and my stomach hurt SO MUCH,  i seriously think theres something wrong with me.  and then liz called me and wanted to hang out,  so i ditched jessie and all my friends,  and then liz never showed up and they went to tanas house and laramie went home i guess.
 and that made me really really sad because i hate that feeling you get.  when youre supposed to meet someone and they dont show up.  ive had that feeling more times than id ever want to.  but anyway then i got on the bus to go home cause i didnt have anything better to do and i saw some little boy.  and his dad was mentally retarded and in a wheelchair and he was helping him on the bus and moving things and stuff and i just.
 burst out crying.  It was the wierdest thing.  I dont know why.  Maybe cause i see myself as that little boy some day with my mom in a wheelchair?  : shrug:  I dont know.  i am emo.  And then i got in the car and my mom was all " WHY ARE YOUR EYES GLAZED OVER!
 ( are you on drugs!  and then i had to tell her no,  i was crying,  and then she bothered me for like 20 minutes about what was wrong and made me explain how im doing in school and how things are with dylan.  blah blah.  and then she just wouldnt shut up.  ugh.  Theyre making a new sex pistols movie and Justin Timberlake is playing johnny rotten.  That is fucking sickening.  Anyway,  i have to pee and do stuff.  Bye eyeryone!  as is,  abby 
