  My father's surgery was postponed until Monday. I decided to come down early and spend a few days with him and my mother. The doctor called today while I was here. He said all looked good and he would be looking forward to making sure that everything proceeded as planned regarding my father's bypass surgery. My father seems at ease about it. Of course, if he has any apprehension, he wouldn't show it openly.
But I can understand the fears he might have. Which is why I'm trying to be upbeat about this. And I'm his son. It's my chance to prove that despite the mistakes I've made and the choices in life that I have made, I remain more than just his flesh/blood. I remain an heir to his wisdom and adventures from years gone by. I will of course let everyone know how things go on Monday.
I return to work on Tuesday. That is, if everything goes well here with my father and I predict nothing but good news and a man with a renewed lease on life. Beyond this, I've been furniture shopping for several days now. Last night, I managed to locate a bed. Also found another large but very nice mirror to add to my wall. I've never been a big fan of mirrors but of late, I've begun to accept that looking at myself in one will not cause it to crack and/or break.
Funny to think that at my age, I still have/had concerns about my self-image but I guess living in the "gay" world, it's to be expected. So many things are "good looking need only apply" type of routine. That's a sad and pathetic requirement but it's so very real. And unfortunately, predictable in the manner of most gay men's lives but NOT all. One would think that after all we've learned and misplaced in terms of our judgement of others we would have discovered that looks are NOT everything. Some I guess will never learn.
Others simply don't care. And still others are merely self-indulgent, oversexed feigns with the anticipation of manifesting their lust through the recesses of youth long after they have reached their "peak" in terms of age, beauty and sexual functions. Okay, I won't preach tonight about something many of us already know about quite well. As I finish writing this, I can only wonder upon my own life of late. What it is that I am seeking. What is missing and how do I find it.
The bigger question that lurks just around the next corner however is: Is the missing piece in my life searching for me as well....somewhere out there? 
