  I deleted the solar system thingy cuz i was messing up all the posts after it. I have never had anything mess it up like that but no biggie. I did like it though. Sorry, hope I am forgiven!!! So, I finally start dating again and I have come to the conclusion that the first one is a dud! I should be happy though because he "showed me his real cards" early in the game.
Although he hide things in what he says thinking that I must be stupid and won't pick up on them or something. DUH, NOT!!! Here's an example: We were talking about things that may have seemed a bit off between us and if we felt they were things we could work on. He says to me that my hair isn't long enough, but I can grow it. That he really likes me and feels safe a good with me. That he really feels this is gonna work out.
Then tells me that he knows I am already working on my weight so that will be changing. Then says that once that is all done things should be good. Good, WTF. So let me get this straight the way I am now is "ok" but not really what he wants. The way I will be once I am done losing the weight and grow my hair long will be perferct because that is what he is looking for. No offense but I know what I am gonna look like and it will be what alot of guys will be looking for.
Jackass. He also takes the time to make a few insulting comments to me about my friends (which lets me know that he may not really like them). He was not all that pleased with my response concerning that. HE doesn't feel he needs to improve on his life. He is renting a house with 2 other guys and is hoping his dad may help him out to buy it. HE IS 36 for crying out loud.
When I ask him if he wants to go back to school he says no, that he doesn't like school and therefore doesn't see the need for it, especially since he has a good job now. I suppose it maybe a good job, it probably is. However, it is not enough to pay the bills or much less support him on his own. He tells me that it is not important to support himself because when he finds someone there will be 2 incomes. Yeah, I suppose but one of them will not be mine. See, at first I thought all of these things were bothering me because I was scared to be in a relationship, to get back out there and date again.
It had been so long for me. Now that I have talked to my friends about it, it is clear that these things should bother me. I don't want to end up in a shithole relationship again. Not to mention that I don't ever want to date someone who doesn't want me hanging out with or at my friends. I am not gonna drop my friends for any guy again and while Chris didn't ask me to do this he made it clear that my time should be with him and not them. So in the words of my friend Shane, "I think it is time to toss this fish back!
" So that has been my saga as of late. Still not sure how to do this or why I feel bad about it. I suppose that will pass in time. SARAH , I want to make sure I keep telling you how proud I am of you! You are gonna go back to college! You are doing something for yourself not for anyone else so make sure to enjoy it.
It will be work but I know you are strong and you will succeed. You deserve this chance and I know you will excel!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS you fellow college goer. CHOPS, Just think only 2 weeks left. I sometimes feel like it couldn't come soon enough! I am really looking forward to getting back to WIU.
I know we keep missing each other on here but I want you to know you are in my thoughts on a regular basis and I miss you tons! I can't wait for us to get to hang out and catch up!!!! Well thats all for now. TTYL 
