  I warned Laura that I may do this one of these days, so I will now start a rambling. Hopefully it makes sense.
(BTW when I do these things I enjoy writing in the 2nd person and sometimes I don't do it well, especially when I dont proofread as I did with this. ) It is amazing how the smallest event can change everything. The smallest decisions have made a huge impact on your life. Like when you decided to join orchestra. You were fortunate enough to meet her. Susan. You know what you want to say.
What you need to say. The question is: Will you be able to say it? Regardless of what we'd like to believe, fear rules us all. You are afraid of what she will say. Afraid that you will lose something that has become very important to you. You just have to decide if the risk is worth the reward. Everything happens for a reason. Everything. Perhaps there is a reason why you have been single for all this time. Perhaps it is so that when you find that someone you will enjoy it that much more.
That's what you would like to believe, but we know the truth. Deep down inside you believe that the reason you have been single is because you are meant to be single. Not everyone finds someone and you know that. Of course your fear is different. Now, now only are you afraid that the girl would show no interest, but you are also afraid that she would show interest cause you believe that you have no idea what to do.
Believe. You toss that word around a lot. Ever since the Cubs became a team worthy of national attention. JUST BELIEVE...like a mantra. You believe in the Cubs. You believe in your friends, and your family. Hell you even believe in yourself from time to time. As long as it is school or athletics. So why don't you believe in yourself when it comes to that other stuff?
The fact of the matter is after years of hearing how great of a guy you are, it just doesn't mean as much, especially when those years have been spent with nothing but dissapointment.... All you can do is believe. Believe in yourself as you do others and remain hopeful, because without hope what do you have? 
