  I decided not to include a title to this one, because the language I would have used may well have put off any potential readers. Whilst enjoying a little Austar with my meal (something I should have thought twice about before actually undertaking), I caught the end of Astroboy on Nickelodeon (a show I adored as a kid), which was followed by some guff called Totally Spies . Now, there were two significant differences between these two shows; the former included fairly obsolete (though still acceptable) animation, and adequate as it was, they still decided to jazz it up with a completely new ending to the show, complete with new music.
Totally Spies , however, was a flashy, new piece of garbage with cutting-edge animation and flawless appeal. Yet somehow it lacked the more subtle appeal of Astroboy ; namely, plot. Well, there was a plot, and here it is: three 'new-age' girls must save the world from disillusioned supermodel who wants to 'modelise' an army to take over the fashion industry that spurned her. The world is in danger why? Because! It's... ummm... well, you know... she speaks with an English accent, dammit! Oh, and the uber-cutelings will lose their delicate features and become... *gasp* ...normal. That's right, folks. What are we teaching kids today? That you have to save the world if someone threatens to take away your good looks and curvaceous figure.
Mmmmm. And of course, the girls are aghast at each other when they discover the results of their 'modelisation' (which seems strange since the victims are ugly, but I found that quite hilariously ironic); they are stuck with freckly skin, red hair, braces and 'stocky' legs. That's right; not fat , just stocky. But boy, you should see the fucking fuss these chicks put on. Now, I found this interesting, because their 'robust' legs are not useless, nor flabby; they are in fact, super-strong.
But that is of no interest to these uber-cuties, who want their slim, trim, stick-like legs back, because despite their tone and strength, the new ones don't fit into the tiny-tight clothes they enjoy wearing. And then there's the faces; we get heaps of jokes about carrots and the sun glaring off those horrible braces. *frumple* I would have thought that any self-respecting individual would resist this kind of obscene crap. But, it's for kids; and what sort of choice do they ever get? So sit down kiddies, and enjoy your powder-puff-wielding, lipstick-laser-shooting and x-ray-contact-lens-wearing heroines reinforce the stereotypes of body and physicality that thinking women have been trying to eradicate for decades.
Here's to cartoons and uber-cuties! It is worth noting that Astroboy 's plot was once again about protecting the little natural wildlife left in his futuristic, robot-inhabited world, and his sister gets a decent piece of the play, using her wit and intellect to make suggestions, rather than whipping out a make-up-fucking-holder-thing and using it to vanquish her foes without thought whilst bitching about her 'overly-powerful' legs. This shit gets me way too worked up. No wonder I don't watch television any more. 
