  4 Days Vacation in Cagayan hi!Ü I just learned sometime ago that OT means "out of topic".Ü so there's a reason why you are brought to this page. but i do know that you came here because you want the truth. the whole truth. and nothing but the truth. so help me God! iniwi, spontaneity.
that's my goal today. i just want to write anything that comes across my mind... so right now, just so you will know, i'm pissed! i'm soooo pissed out because i already had this composition! and f**k! the computer restarted without even nudging me and i wasn't able to save it and here i am! i have to write things all over again and it spoiled everything!
(OT: our electric fan stand looks like a driving wheel) my main reason why i'm here is to share to you my 4 days vacation in cagayan...Ü so let me start by telling you a story about a girl... standing in a front of a boy, asking him to love her. familiar?Ü yes my friend. i came back here with a purpose. i came here to make a change. i came here with a specific agenda. i came... sigh.
to follow my heart. i came here... hahaaay! to bring him back... yeah, you got me there. i want him back. period. no what ifs.
no buts. so zip it! and well of course, i miss my family real bad! i gotta spend time with them! "i know who i want to take me home! i know who i want to take me home!
i know who i want to take me home! take me home! closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... " -Semisonic perhaps there are reasons why, maybe... i'm tired of night life. i'm tired of discos. i'm tired of billiards. i'm tired of drinking.
i'm tired of dating guys (and i can't force myself to like them anyway). boils down to the main reason. which is. i'm tired of buying happiness. it's a waste of money. it's a waste of time.
it's a waste of effort. it gives me eyes bugs. and it makes me look uglier and uglier and uglier every freaking day. and i'm sick of that. so screw everything! leme come back here... and do my thang.Ü saturday mission: i called him up.
he's in red ribbon. he's eating there. with somebody. his girlfriend? yes his girlfriend. he's got a girlfriend.
i broke down. i cried. shit. to make the story short. my plan crumbled... so what to do now? i have to get the hellouta my bed!
so my night life started again. i went out to meet some friends in the night cafe... hej, guy1, guy2, guy3 and gaston.Ü let me tell you what i usually do when i'm in a real deep shit. "got introduced to you by a friend. and you were cute and all that baby you set the trend yes you did oh. and next thing i know we're down at the cinema, we're sittin' there and you start kissin' me what's that about??? " -M2M i wish!!
!Ü sorry po. no kissin...Ü wala lang... naghang out lang mi... they were just friends. so all they did was actually comfort me by listening to my endless incantations, by sitting there and drinking with me. they suggested i should hang myself. or maybe jump off carmen bridge. maybe try to drink some poison.
or perhaps slash my wrist. the best suggestion i got was... try all that in one time! coooooooooooooool!Ü but nah. (OT: nitext sha! his message? "GOD is the reason why... even at the saddest part of life, we SMILE; even in confusion, we UNDERSTAND; even in betrayal, we TRUST; and even in fear of pain, we LOVE.
") i said nah... because i started to like gaston. considering the state that i was in, i should probably brush it away and think of it as a dream? i don't know. really. i won't deny that i easily fall for a guy. but it's different with him because he makes me wanna forget my ex.Ü and any guy can never have that effect on me in one snap!
hell, he did. and darn it! he's younger than me! shoot me. shoot me now! i'm sorry- shoot me later.
i'm not done yet. to proceed. i'm not at all worried if ever he'll reach this page... wala man shai friendster. hehehehe! Listen to me talking to myself… “you shouldn’t fall for him sashi! he only thinks you’re using him because he knows you love your ex and besides you told him yourself that you have that tendency.
When you’re heartbroken, you tend to divert your feelings to another person… and what do you think does that say? Eh?” “I know. I know. I know! It was wrong for me to say that to him. Darn it!
But it’s the truth! That’s what usually happens… but I don’t think this is a diversion, maybe a little… because even before, even BEFORE, I like him already. Remember during Joel’s birthday? Remember the time you went to his house? Remember when you ate V-cut with Joel and him in his room? Remember the time when he got his new celfone and you sent him logos?
Remember how you feel so happy every time he texts you? And you can’t do anything about it… just because you have a boyfriend. And he’s your boyfriend’s bestfriend… and you don’t want to hurt Joel? Remember all those things?” “Good point. Yes, I do remember all those things… But what else can you do now? He doesn’t know what’s on your mind at all.
And he thinks you’re only using him to mend a broken heart. That could be the reason why he dint text back. The reason why his last message was just that above. The reason why he’s a stone. The reason why he tried not to be affected by you.” “Yeah, maybe maybe. But I can’t do anything now.
I know that. I just wish I could go back and change anything and let things flow ‘normally’… I wish I hadn’t told him that my way of attacking situations like this is to divert my attention to another person. Bad move.” Anyway, I have to go na. Chatting with baby pawi online. So NOW, you can shoot me. ciao friend! 
