  Jack Handy is my friend Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing. If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy. One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down. " He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late. Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke. " But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like. When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear. I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny. If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers. thank you jack.. you make life fun. anyways.... VBS was cool today, i didnt get swarmed by small children. me and nic could NOT stop laughing, cuz in the middle of the "rick the brick" song, he stuck up a wood block from under the table, and he goes "look! its woody the wood! " really really loud. absolutely hilarious. me & beck were talkin about VBS online about half an hour ago.. heres a good chunk of the convo: pyropirate08(becky): how was rick the brick today??
lol pyroboy130(me): lol pyroboy130: flirty pyroboy130: not the brick, me pyropirate08: lol pyropirate08: i was gonna say.. lol pyroboy130: yes.. a brick puppet flirted with the 3 year olds becky, youre awesome. you make me smile sam, i know its rough stough, but i guess ya gotta stick it out, cuz thats the way things are... just remember, im always here. goodnight guys! 
