  Charlie Parts the Seas The Red Sox lost the season opener to the Orioles, but that's okay, because The Ten Commandments was on TV. Scott has claimed before, and I think he's right, that Schwarzenegger is the Heston of our generation.
Then again, Arnold never made a biblical epic, which, depending on your perspective, is either a shame or, well, a shame. (Like "future" cars of the 50s, an era's take on the bible says more about the era than it does about the bible. While Charlie makes Egypt look like an Epcot exhibit, Mel makes a snuff film out of the crucifiction. I swear: artistic "credibility" is ruining the bible. ) I was in Chicago this weekend and it made me realize how long it has been since I've spent time in a real city.
The novelty of arguing commuters on the El, or the cab driver who fell asleep at every stoplight was overwhelming, but then I realized that it really shouldn't be. Have I turned into a yokel? Oh, Iowa; I tire of your bucolic shittiness. There was once a Pete who, at most, would have turned a stony gaze to such novelty.
I used to be tough to impress. Really. But Iowa, like the humongous vat of acid that it is, has stripped me of my insularity. The light of day hurts my eyes. 
