  o...holy...shit... I have the feeling, and the feeling has never been wrong. The one person, in my entire life, who has so cruely rip;ped me of my heart and pride and esteem, has moved on.
He hasnt said anything, but the feeling, i have the dreaded, god awful, forsaken feeling that ive had so many other times before...the self same feeling the clued me in on conrad, john creasy, and michael.
The same feeling that has never been wrong in all the years its wispered in my ear. Why should it be that every time i talk to this person, this person that you all know, i start to cry. I know why, because he doesnt still get those butterflys that i get, and i dont think that he looks in anticipation to see if ive responded as i do with him. im so sick of my love life! my fuckign phsyci was right!im in dire love trouble, and i feel like jumping off a bridge.
i feel like drving back to shaver, jumping on a wake board and falling straight over the dam. I hate that one person can make me feel this, i dotn get how one person can have so much control over me. i feel dead. 
