  i haven't wrote in long bit. so much stuff have happened. good then now bad. i duno what he wantz. or what i want. it waz so hard for me to say i dind't want to see him today.
in my heart i knew i waz lying. buh what can i do? i told him the reason. and all he said waz "i think i want to be left alone sleeping on my bed" those exact same words made meeh feel like this now. like damn shit . i don't knoe what to do .. or say.
why is this happening so fast? i miss him so much. does he knoe? everytime i say i hate him, i dont mean it. why? how?
cuz eventually if you say "i love you" too much, it looses its meaning. so saying that, just simply cross it out. does he knoe? no he doens't. he doesn't understand. yet, he'z so perfect and.. everything i wanted.
maybe all except this lil bit. i still and will still do love him. whatever he'z doing and how far he goes. mentally im alwayz with him. i can still sometimes smell him in my room. cuz im missing him so much. 
