  She's gone: that happy, euphoric even, girl who hummed happy songs under her breath; who murmured I'm happy, I'm happy to herself; who was nice to just about everyone, even people she didn't particularly like.
She's caught the last bus out of town. Which means the sarcastic, worrying, not as nice me is back. What the heck happened? Two things - (1). My pimp hat was ruined, and (2). Someone broke my retainer. Ok, why the heck would u have a pimp hat? It was to go with my pimp car. My mom WAS gonna give me her old car, the ultimate old person car - a Buick Century. (Until she finds out about my retainer, which can never ever happen...do you kno if superglue's toxic?
) Of course, I get it when I get a job and can pay car insurance. So one day I won these cute blue leopard-spotted dice at putt-putt, and my mom said that I couldn't brotherfy her car...wait till u get ur own. I took her for her word on that one. So I'm gonna brotherfy my car and make it a right pimpmobile.
Of course I'm gettin the pimped out seat covers, a purple steering wheel (maybe with a horn tune of Big Pimpin), and of course the dice. I may even get it painted some whack color of blue, and put a little feather on the antenna. So today I was at our church picnic (what an odd place for planning a pimpmobile), and I saw a clown making balloon animals and jewelry. Being the clever and cheap person I am, I thought to myself, "I wonder if I can save some money by getting this clown to make a purple pimp hat with a pink balloon portruding to look like a feather. " I told the clown I wanted a hat with a thing stickin out, and the clown made a version of what I wanted.
As soon as I got it on my head, a gust came and blew it into the grass and it popped. Then, to make matters worse, I went to go check on my retainer, which I had in my seat, and I found it. It was on the ground, the top part snapped in HALF. Right now, I've got gum holding it together, but I need a replacement ASAP.
The problem is, it would cost $125 to get a replacement if my orthodontist can't glue it back together. I have exactly $125 in my account at the bank. No problem, right? WRONG! I haven't gotten my mom anything for Mother's Day yet, so if I get it replaced, I can't get my mom anything for Mother's Day. If I don't, and my mom finds out, I'll be dead by Mother's Day. It's a real Catch-22. The worst one - I get it replaced, borrow the money, and my mom finds out I borrowed money so I could get her a Mother's Day present.
So no matter what happens, I'm screwed. Well I might as well think of a pimp name while I'm pondering exactly how my mom's gonna kill me (strangulation, whack me w/ a shovel, the works). If you have ANY ideas at all, PLEASE IM me and tell me (tdmonmon875), cause frankly I'll take any suggestions that keep me from going to heaven at 16. Later. 
