  Ever just feel like your life sucks big time and that each day just doesn't seem real. I feel really off today, like something isn't right. Maybe I'm just abnormal, but hell that isn't a big suprise. I just wonder about things sometimes and I wonder why I even wonder about them. Just silly little un-important things that nobody ever would really think about at a given moment in time. I'm not really going to go into it because it just makes my head hurt.
I'm just having a fucked up day today. I didn't get outta bed until 11:30 this morning and I didn't come in to work until 1pm. I just feel so blah towards everything and everyone. Yet, I feel guilty for feeling this way. I'm not in the frame of mind to be going to school right now, but I know if I don't go then I just won't go back. Yet, I feel guilty for feeling this way because this is the first time in my life that I've actually made an effort to pull myself together.
My husband really let me down last weekend. That's probably where all these feelings I'm having now are coming from. We went to Cherokee NC on Friday and I suprised him by getting a room at the casino for the night. Basically he spent money that we didn't have to spend and it just put a strain on everything. He had to borrow against his next check to cover the checks that we had wrote out for bills. I don't like being broke or put in the situation where I'm stressed out more then I should be.
He just really irks me and I still don't even know why I put up with it. Sometimes I feel like we'd be better off going our seperate ways, but he just won't leave. He's like a leach that just won't detach himself from me. God, I know that sounds ugly and all, but I'm tired of the way he makes me feel. Take last night. I had school and so he has all this time to himself before I get home.
I don't ask for much, but dinner in the microwave would be nice. We had a gift card from Walmart so he could have gone and picked up a few things, but did he. NO. So I get home and have nothing to eat and I'm tired and ill and just pissed at the fact that he's sitting there with a Taco Bell cup. He thought about himself, but not about me. In the end he got me something to eat, but I hate fast food. 
