  Just got back from school because I had another anxiety attack during English class. Today sucked. Tomorrow had better treat me right. Yesterday I went to frisbee which was great fun... then I got smacked in the head by another guy's head leaving me temporarily brain dead. It hurt... but I didn't cry or whine about it. It was really embarassing, everyone was paying attention to me and trying to make sure I was okay and they wouldn't let me lie down in case I had a concussion. I just wanted to sleep, but I guess that was the effects of the hit on my head. Now there's a bump there that really hurts.
Afterwards I went out to get pizza with Cari, Jessica, Kim and Jake. I hope next week is better. My first few classes were the usual... boring and uneventful. I got to fourth hour gym and realized I had forgotten the keys to unlock my locker at home, so I had to borrow a pair of Courtney's ugly-as-all-hell track pants. She doesn't like them either, so I can trash talk them. But yeah... they sucked. Then I tried climbing this wall and it fucking sucked. I gave up. Fifth hour German was boring boring boring, then we went to lunch and the fucking lunch ladies wouldnt let me get a lunch because I would have been 45 cents in the hole.
45 FUCKING CENTS. What a big fucking deal. I asked if i could PLEASE bring money tomorrow because I was starving and it was only 45 cents... nooooooo. Asshats. So that made me really mad and set me off. Then I went to sit down but I couldn't find anyone that I sat with and different people were there, so I sat at an empty table until the usual kids came and sat down. By then I was nearly in tears just from being so frustrated. Jessica offered me her 5 dollar bill, but I declined. I was so angry with the lunch ladies I lost my appetite. I got back to German, finished the class and left for English. When I sat down in English, a few people were talking and asking the teacher questions about the speeches that I thought were later in the week, turns out they were today.
That's when I lost it. I had worked on a whole fucking outline the night before because when I asked someone if the speeches were today they said no, just an outline was due. They were wrong, and I was unprepared. I got so frustrated that I just couldn't take it anymore. Thank God I had Mr. Pellant first trimester because he already had some experience with my anxiety attacks so he let me go to the nurse without question. I called for a ride home, and my dad said he'd be there in 10-15 minutes because he was in the middle of something. IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING??? He had just talked to the nurse who had told him I was having an anxiety attack/nervous breakdown, and I had just talked to him while crying my eyes out... great to know what his top priorities are.
Then he asks me to tell him whats wrong. I don't want to fucking tell him what's wrong. Everything is pissing me off... I'm reacting to every little thing, and the fact that he had to 'finish something up' before coming to get his mentally distressed daughter at school didn't help. I'm sick of people. I wonder if anyone will fucking remember that my birthday is tomorrow... unless they read this or they were there when I was screaming at everyone about how my week sucked. I'm ashamed for who I am and I never want to go back to school. 
