  Crisis of community... Lets get the heavy shit out of the way first. Today is a big day for our community here in CT. There is an anti-hate crime bill that they are having a rally/testimony for today. I have already sent in my letters to my state reps and such, and we as a group on Saturday were asked to attend in support if we could. I would love to go, this bill needs to pass, not so much for the hate crime stuff, but the collateral stuff that comes with it. Police and other public officials would have to take workshops and get educated about us, they would learn we aren't all sexual deviants like on the talk show circuit. It would go a long way, just to give us some dignity in the community. I though am no protester, never have been, and most likely never will.
I remember when my brother came out gay, I told him I loved him, I supported him, and wanted him in my life, I just wouldn't be marching in any parades. I have chosen the diplomatic route to my form of protest. My writing is my gift, it may not be much, but its mine.
I have tried to use it to reach out to others. For instance, I reached out with some beautiful words for Paul, two of his kids liked it so much they hugged me, and told me in confidence they did not care about the trans issue. I was able to connect thru my poetry to them, and if they are sincere, maybe they will be nicer to another trans person they meet. The other part of my style is just being me, nice. I had some pretty awful shit happen to me at my last job where some pictures got emailed around of me. It was a totally nicely intended thing that got into someone's hand that it didn't belong in, and they spread it. Two of my friends were responsible for the initial friendly mistake, they were so afraid I would hate them forever.
I forgave them without pausing for a second, they didn't do it with malice or ill intent. By showing how forgiving I was also showed to these people we are strong. Lastly at my old job, allot of people think I was railroaded out, I don't know. My boss had a tough decision, I was under stress, but I took his offer and held my head up high with dignity. I did not reduce myself to nasty little digs at him, I showed class and respect. In doing this I think I have earned the respect of others. I am no saint though, I have ended old friendships with pre-emptive strikes, like with tubby. I had heard some stuff about his being two faced, and talking behind my back.
It hurt so I struck back hard and unforgiving. I am told he won't ever talk to me again, oh well his loss. I hope that I am taking the right approach in this thinking of diplomatic protest. It is just my nature, I am the Charming, good bitch remember. I left it up to Co to be the mean one all these years. A few lingering thoughts on the weekend. I haven't mentioned my mom's friend Libby. Libby is a saint, she helped out my mom and Paul so much, and she spent the last few days cooking all the food for the service. Libby was there so much for my mom, and helped us out so much. I thank God that mom has a friend that nice. I gave her this website info, after she said how much she loved my writing. So if you are reading Libby thank you for helping my mom so much. You are a great person, and I hope you are paid back with kindness 10 fold. At the support group meeting I met another member who will be attending COS this weekend.
I had talked to her via email before, and we were just chatting. She said to me"Oh by the way, there will be a girl there doing make overs. " My heart sank with dread, and I just had to ask" Why do I need one? " She said no very quickly and apologized, I was sorry for making her feel awkward for telling me, but that is what went through my mind. I guess it is true, I do have a female brain,and have the same reactions most genetic women have. Take care, love to all. I have to go interview for the car job, and maybe head to the LOB after to lend some support. urlLink postCount('107935501556876905'); | urlLink postCountTB('107935501556876905'); 
