  Sunday I wrote a huge post,  then watched it disappear as we had a temporary internet connection loss of seconds -  just right at the moment I was trying to post it -  GRRRRRRR.  Oh well.  I guess whatever I said wasn't important -
 lol.  Then I was too tired to try again and swamped with work yesterday,  so I'll post a couple of the things I wanted to Sunday.  No tapes so far today,  thankfully.  I was up until 5:
30 a. m.  trying to finish up the two tapes I got yesterday,  late morning.  Up with R at about 8: 30 this morning and I'm catching catnaps as I can now.
 Whenever I talk about my church in this blog,  I try to explain some of it so that anyone reading it might have a better idea of what my church believes and how things work in it.  Recently,  two of the Apostles in our church have passed away.  We have a living prophet,  sometimes referred to as the president of our church.
 He has two counselors and then,  just as when Christ set up the church on the earth,  we have 12 apostles.  Most of these men are older because such a position requires a full time commitment and no one in our church gets paid for their callings.  Our Bishop -  similar to a pastor -
 is not paid anything.  He works a full time job to support his family,  as well as fulfilling his calling.  This is the way it is at every level in our church.  So,  often times for the highest callings,
 those people are retired.  That's not a given,  because we believe these people are called by divine revelation,  but it usually is the case ( afterall,  the Lord knows what He's doing either way)
 Anyway,  in April,  the prophet's wife passed away ( she was in her 90's)  Then,  about 12 days ago,
 Elder Neal Maxwell passed away after a long battle with leukemia.  He was about 76 or 78 ( can't remember)  Saturday afternoon,  Elder David Haight died at 97 due to age related issues.  Sad to lose two great men so close together like that.
 Both of them had given talks at General Conference just this past April.  When I lost my post on Sunday,  I'd mentioned the above.  And I mentioned that we sang a hymn I really love called Abide With Me,  'Tis Eventide.  I can't sing it because I can't get through it -
 I cry every time.  Sort of embarrassing,  but in our church people often get choked up when they are speaking about spiritual things.  You can here the tune at this website ( hopefully you can just click on it.  Otherwise,
 you'll have to paste it)  urlLink http: www. cyberhymnal. org/ htm/
a/ b/ abidewmt. htm These are the words to the hymn:  Abide with me,  ’
tis eventide! The day is past and gone;  The shadows of the evening fall; The night is coming on!  Within my heart a welcome Guest, Within my home abide.
 Refrain:  O Savior,  stay this night with me; Behold,  ’ tis eventide!
 O Savior,  stay this night with me; Behold,  ’ tis eventide!  Abide with me,
 ’ tis eventide! Thy walk today with me Has made my heart within me burn, As I communed with Thee.  Thy earnest words have filled my soulAnd kept me near Thy side.  Refrain Abide with me,
 ’ tis eventide! And lone will be the night,  If I cannot commune with Thee, Nor find in Thee my light.  The darkness of the world,
 I fear, Would in my home abide.  Refrain I think it is the words that touch my heart so much.  Even going to the website with the tune,  though,  and pasting it on here makes me almost weep.
 I wish that when things were difficult -  the stress was at its strongest,  my worries were overwhelming me -  I could feel what I feel when I * try*  to sing this song or hear it.
 My best friend's mother always played religious music.  I can remember L and I rolling our eyes about it and playing around like we couldn't wait to get out of the house.  But as I got older and began to reach that spiritual side of myself,  I came to understand that in her harsh world,  she played that music to lift up her heart.  It helped her.
 At the same time,  remembering my feeling that way keeps me from playing a lot of religious music in my home -  which really seems sort of awful when I think about it.  It was after R was born before I even put up any pictures that were religious.  Now,  I have a beautiful collection of pencil drawings in a frame of Christ with children:
 a newborn babe laying against His shoulder at the center of the frame and then surrounded by other drawings -  He is lifting a laughing baby up in the air as they both laugh,  walking a toddler in front of Him as the baby looks up and they are smiling at each other,  tickling a little boy in his lap while his brother leans over Christ's back,  holding a little girl in his arm while he talks to her older sister -  all smiling,
 hugging a girl of 9 or 10 as they both smile and then sitting with two young women,  maybe 15,  16 or 17 years old.  It is exactly as I would imagine Him with children.  And I have a picture of Christ that my mom gave to me in our hallway heading upstairs.  I also have a print I love of the pioneers pushing handcarts across the prairie in the snow and you can see on their faces,
 they are at the end of their strength -  with angels helping them push.  Hmmmm,  how did I get off on all this?  On my mind a lot lately,  I guess.
 Going hand in hand with what I'd posted about needing to work on my spiritual side,  I'm guessing.  Anyway,  swim team has ended.  No one told us,  though.
 We found out when we drove up to the pool and a lifeguard was leaving.  I was a bit irritated because the last I'd heard was they were planning a party for a Monday instead of the original Sunday after the last swim meet.  R,  of course,  was counting on swimming so she was crying.  But,
 we got our own little cake and put Congratulations on it for her and she and her best friend are going swimming Sat.  plus she'll be at a swim party next Friday,  too.  She was pretty happy in the end and I was grateful that I didn't end up missing an entire night of sleep because after working til 5: 30 a. m.
 I would have had to stay up to take R to lessons this morning -  lol.  How pleasant I'm sure I would have been today.  lol.  My parents got home from visiting Indiana and family there and my mom called to tell me about it.  My 2nd cousin had been sick and then to a point she couldn't (
or really just didn't want to)  eat.  So after 3 times of her being hospitalized -  one while my folks were there and the Dr. 's never figuring out what was going on -  my Aunt took matters into her own hands!
 She cooked several meals,  took them over and made B eat -  a little at a time -  told her husband,  who has had a lot of health problems the last two years but hadn't been being very nice to her lately,  to back off!
 and checked up on her every day.  She told her to just take small bites of food all day long.  By the time my parents were leaving,  about 4 days after my Aunt started doing this for her,  B was eating well again and feeling much better.  I told my mom that we women don't get much TLC unless another woman reaches out to us and since B is a caregiver,
 too,  with her husband's health issues,  she was probably just empty.  My Aunt gave her the TLC and time she needed and it made her well.  Sometimes,  that's what we need.
 That's what good friends give us -  even if they aren't close by.  Sometimes,  we finally break through the negatives and give it to ourselves.  However we come by it,  we all needed it now and then to stay afloat and keep going.
 So,  for all my friends who stick with me,  give me support,  advise,  shake a finger at me now and then,  tell me to be nice to me -
 Thank You.
