  when i asked my mom if there were only bad sides that she sees in me, no good ones she didn't answer. she just looked at me. i didn't know how to read this look but it brought tears into my eyes when she went away. this hurts, there's a deep wound after he left me. i feel alone again. and after having had sunshine for a week it's even more hurting. this weakness... i hope i'll recover a bit in france. 2 weeks away from home, a new city to explore, things to occupy myself with. i just hope i'll be able to write in french so that i'll be able to continue in french here so that i'll have my 'secret language' noone knows here in this house. 
