  finally, my urge to tell jammi i love him is gone. how? stupid me, i told him. i was too sucked up at the moment that i asked him if he still is gonna smoke. to my heart's breaking he said yes. i figured i'm gonna lose like a second with him with every stick he smoked. so i told i loved him. it wasn't pretty at all. he was all shocked. i asked him to pretend it never happened but he won't, it doesn't matter. i would. 
