  Lots of things today.  Watched " The Game"  the other night. it was really,  really good. made me look at the way I live my life in a new light.  Thank you to Kelly for giving me a cold dose of realness one time. I am kinda boring. I like things rather mundane. granted I do get extra wild on occassion (
usually alcohol or weed induced)  for the most part I like my routine and I don't want much to interfere with that. but I feel something awakening in my persona lately. I've been more vocal about how I really feel. I have been more assertive in my wants and desires. we'll see where this goes but I feel something stirring.  I am happier now than I've been in quite a long time. no particular reason to point to other than my Dad's steady recovery.
I am enjoying life for the first time in 2002. I think I needed the down time.  In Blackplanet I got into my first large scale argument. I don't want to go into details because a) it's over and done with and b) it wasn't that crucial to begin with. but the whole experience did bring up a much larger point to me that I feel applies in life in general ( not just digitized binary life. which is all some people apparently have) the point is I appreciate people who bring it real,
 live,  and direct to me a whole lot more than people who smile in your face and talk behind your back. although I don't respect the dude I was arguing with for many and varied reasons I can at least respect the fact that we aired out our issues like men and got it all out in the open. there are certain people that for whatever reason cannot do this. there are people I know for a fact are in my life that do not like me,
 yet put up a front like they do. if you don't like me it would behoove you to say so. let feelings be known and we can go forward from there because I don't have time for shadiness. I need all the light I can get right now.
