  Ok, so the archives dissappeared again. What is up with that? Sheesh. I'm at work, bored out of my gourd, wishing it were 5pm or better yet 9pm so I could be in the arms of my Abby rather than here. Ick. Work normally isn't bad, but today, today is just horrible. Mostly to do with my attitude, which I spose it what made Compaq so horrible as well. But the attitude comes from somewhere. In this case it's lack of work and my evening plans to be in Cincy as opposed to talking to Justin and doing all that tedious coverage shit.
I don't know whatever. I'm just hoping for a fabulous weekend *away* from Cleveland. Not that Cleveland is all that bad a place. If I knew people here, it probably wouldn't be bad at all. No worse than say Toledo. I spose I could go and join Lesbian Avengers or something...but really...I'm not *that* desperate for people to hang out with. I enjoy the time alone, time to think etc. but at the same time I crave social contact. More importantly, social contact in which I can be totally myself.
However, I spose it would be good if I knew what that was. I have the idea of who I would be and what I would do, and then I have the things I actually do and say. Very different concepts. For example, I'm in the elevator in Rhodes Tower on my way down from DiffEQ class with some random guy. This guy looks at me in the...ok are you male or female kinda way. Apparently he decided to take the 'safe' approach and asked me a question. (The voice will nine times out of ten give gender away. ) I politely answered, *really* wanting to remove my self from such a tiny space with a random older (50's? ) man. He then proceeds to say "That hair cut *actually* looks good on you". I looked at him and wanted to say something like "That fake hair *actually* makes you look younger" instead I said, "uh...thanks". So the question is, should I have insulted him back? Or simply assume he doesn't realize what he's saying and politely remove myself from the situation?
Which person should I/do I want to be? In my head I've always wanted to be the insulter...the one that says what's on her mind and fuck what other people think. However that is not *always* how I act. I don't know...good questions to be thinking about in life. I spose there's good and bad qualities to each side and in general I just hang out in the middle, hopfully taking the best of both worlds.
Not sure I like the idea of mediocrity, but I spose it means I'm not inferior. Whatever...too much thinking...my brain is jumbled into some form of incomprehensible mess that some how continues to function. Kinda like when your room is a complete and total disater area, yet you know where everything is...well...except that other shoe you need so you can leave for school. Yeah...exactly. Ha...wow...off to get some lunch.
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.ttyl, 
