  broke up with justen.  how fucked is that?  stupid. but i had reasons. and i dunno.  i just did.
 but then,  last night. i felt so alone,  so i caught up with him. and we got really drunk,  and were together just like old times.
its weird but it feels normal i guess.  sortof like best friends with benefits?  i think?  well yeah. then today my rents went to the property to hook up some shit with the RV and i talked to amber and we left,  met at the bridge,
 and woke up justen.  so then. we all went to the river. after hanging in his room,  and wanted to go swimming but it was really fucking cold.  so that didnt go down,
 and like the hangover returned,  and i realized i hadnt eaten in a long ass time so justen bought me subway,  such a good boy.  such a good good boy.  a good good good boy.  with cheese.
 and god. i like being like this. apart. but together. and it makes no sense at all to me. uh the convo is right here:
 tada:  fuzzypinky0:  r you there fuzzypinky0:  now AbstinanceroX:  uh yes fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:
 so you still going to the see the fire works?  AbstinanceroX:  uhg AbstinanceroX:  yes fuzzypinky0:  what timr fuzzypinky0:  time AbstinanceroX:
 uh AbstinanceroX:  ask stupid mom " uh when it gets dark out?  AbstinanceroX:  LIKE WTF?  fuzzypinky0:
 :  AbstinanceroX:  that could be 9 pm til 4 in the morning AbstinanceroX:  lol fuzzypinky0:  dont be mad fuzzypinky0:  get glad fuzzypinky0:
 i got some if you want to baorw some fuzzypinky0:  lol AbstinanceroX:  lol what?  AbstinanceroX:  you retard AbstinanceroX:  lol omg AbstinanceroX:
 that was weird justen fuzzypinky0:  what AbstinanceroX:  nothing lol nvm fuzzypinky0:  ok AbstinanceroX:  OK!  AbstinanceroX:
 READDY!  OK!  AbstinanceroX:  rah rah rah AbstinanceroX:  rah fuzzypinky0:  ?
 AbstinanceroX:  nvm AbstinanceroX:  being a cheerleader fuzzypinky0:  ya that is what i thought fuzzypinky0:  so did you have a nice ride home fuzzypinky0:  on the scary pain fuzzypinky0:
 :  AbstinanceroX:  haha AbstinanceroX:  no AbstinanceroX:  i felt sick fuzzypinky0:  hehe fuzzypinky0:
 i do righ tknow fuzzypinky0:  and dezzy fuzzypinky0:  for now reason AbstinanceroX:  too much junk food fuzzypinky0:  no AbstinanceroX:  not enough vegatables AbstinanceroX:
 YES AbstinanceroX:  lol fuzzypinky0:  no fuzzypinky0:  i eat lots of them fuzzypinky0:  too meny fuzzypinky0:  and pineapple fuzzypinky0:
 ewwwwwwwwww fuzzypinky0:  : '(  AbstinanceroX:  haha AbstinanceroX:  yey AbstinanceroX:
 i am proud fuzzypinky0:  ya you should be fuzzypinky0:  lol fuzzypinky0:  what are you doing tommaorw fuzzypinky0:  ?  AbstinanceroX:
 uh AbstinanceroX:  FUCKING A AbstinanceroX:  going to the fucking property!  AbstinanceroX:  for a fucking bbq!  fuzzypinky0:
 : '(  AbstinanceroX:  AND TOMORROW NIGHT AbstinanceroX:  we are going to PARTY!  AbstinanceroX:
 BITCHES AbstinanceroX:  YES YES YES fuzzypinky0:  you and me fuzzypinky0:  ?  fuzzypinky0:  or youmom AbstinanceroX:
 i am " staying the night at shannons"  AbstinanceroX:  well uh AbstinanceroX:  everyone fuzzypinky0:  o AbstinanceroX:
 no fuck the kids justen!  us teenagers fuzzypinky0:  my mom wanted to know if you wanted to cuomme over for dinner fuzzypinky0:  tommarow fuzzypinky0:  but.  AbstinanceroX:
 but?  fuzzypinky0:  ya fuzzypinky0:  you wont be here AbstinanceroX:  OK JUSTEN AbstinanceroX:  um AbstinanceroX:
 listen!  AbstinanceroX:  k?  fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  k AbstinanceroX:
 god ok i think. that we are kindof getting attatched. and that we are really serious and that we need to slow down a little ok?  fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  meanig AbstinanceroX:
 lol AbstinanceroX:  yeah i wanted to like get this down in person,  but at albertsons there were alotta people AbstinanceroX:  i think like AbstinanceroX:  hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm AbstinanceroX:  like god AbstinanceroX:
 ok fuzzypinky0:  ya AbstinanceroX:  WE ARE LIKE WAY IN DEEP AbstinanceroX:  k?  fuzzypinky0:  ya fuzzypinky0:
 ok fuzzypinky0:  and y is that bad fuzzypinky0:  ?  AbstinanceroX:  uh AbstinanceroX:  i feel like AbstinanceroX:
 pressured into commitment with you AbstinanceroX:  sometimes fuzzypinky0:  o will iam soory fuzzypinky0:  but who's pressurding you AbstinanceroX:  no one in general AbstinanceroX:  but AbstinanceroX:
 see AbstinanceroX:  we are serious AbstinanceroX:  and AbstinanceroX:  i feel like i want to be a kid and be free AbstinanceroX:  and sometimes AbstinanceroX:  you make me feel like i am married to you fuzzypinky0:
 how fuzzypinky0:  i let you do what you want AbstinanceroX:  nooo thats not it fuzzypinky0:  o fuzzypinky0:  well iam dory fuzzypinky0:  soory fuzzypinky0:
 if its my falt AbstinanceroX:  ok. hmmmmm AbstinanceroX:  i just feel like we need to slow down AbstinanceroX:  step back fuzzypinky0:  ok AbstinanceroX:
 do you get me?  fuzzypinky0:  ya fuzzypinky0:  how far back fuzzypinky0:  ?  AbstinanceroX:
 god i dont knwo AbstinanceroX:  far enough to where i feel like we are just a happy couple AbstinanceroX:  not so AbstinanceroX:  attatched.  fuzzypinky0:  o AbstinanceroX:
 ok so like tell me what you think i am telling you fuzzypinky0:  so your not happy anymore fuzzypinky0:  ?  AbstinanceroX:  ummmmmmmmm AbstinanceroX:  no AbstinanceroX:
 ok AbstinanceroX:  uh fuzzypinky0:  ok AbstinanceroX:  no i just AbstinanceroX:  need some air?  fuzzypinky0:
 so your not dummping me AbstinanceroX:  no fuzzypinky0:  are you AbstinanceroX:  lol no fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:
 good fuzzypinky0:  you want to know what i think AbstinanceroX:  ok AbstinanceroX:  go fuzzypinky0:  about this fuzzypinky0:  ?
 AbstinanceroX:  yes go fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  aaaaaaaaaaaa fuzzypinky0:  lol AbstinanceroX:  JUSTEN fuzzypinky0:
 i cant out it in words AbstinanceroX:  TRY fuzzypinky0:  put*  fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  it might take a wile fuzzypinky0:
 ook AbstinanceroX:  ok GO fuzzypinky0:  aaaaaaaaaaaaa AbstinanceroX:  justen AbstinanceroX:  omg AbstinanceroX:  comeon fuzzypinky0:
 you should do what you have too AbstinanceroX:  what is that supposed to mean?  fuzzypinky0:  atjatjsafgjmsg fuzzypinky0:  i dont know fuzzypinky0:  6 fuzzypinky0:
 : '(  AbstinanceroX:  lol yeah you do AbstinanceroX:  justen fuzzypinky0:  iaqm sorry AbstinanceroX:
 justen AbstinanceroX:  come on please AbstinanceroX:  tell me AbstinanceroX:  do you want to break up?  fuzzypinky0:  hell no AbstinanceroX:
 ok then tell me AbstinanceroX:  what it means fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  what do you want to do fuzzypinky0:  ?  fuzzypinky0:
 is up too you fuzzypinky0:  it's*  AbstinanceroX:  k.  fuzzypinky0:  i want to be with you fuzzypinky0:
 but if you dont want to be with me just tell me AbstinanceroX:  no i do fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  ok AbstinanceroX:  i just want to back off fuzzypinky0:  like how AbstinanceroX:
 like AbstinanceroX:  uh AbstinanceroX:  hold on AbstinanceroX:  im thinking AbstinanceroX:  not be so AbstinanceroX:  uh fuzzypinky0:
 ok AbstinanceroX:  uhhhh AbstinanceroX:  uuuuuuuuuuuh AbstinanceroX:  uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh fuzzypinky0:  ?  AbstinanceroX:
 not be so together?  no fuzzypinky0:  i dotn get it AbstinanceroX:  me neither AbstinanceroX:  like AbstinanceroX:  hmmmmmmmmmmm AbstinanceroX:
 just take it slow AbstinanceroX:  do you get that much?  AbstinanceroX:  thats all i want AbstinanceroX:  take it slow fuzzypinky0:  i thought we were AbstinanceroX:
 well AbstinanceroX:  fine AbstinanceroX:  but AbstinanceroX:  whatever fuzzypinky0:  so like dont be around eacher AbstinanceroX:  no fuzzypinky0:
 or something fuzzypinky0:  lol AbstinanceroX:  GOD THIS IS HARD fuzzypinky0:  help me AbstinanceroX:  not be so serious fuzzypinky0:  i knoe AbstinanceroX:
 lol im trying but i cant explain fuzzypinky0:  ya fuzzypinky0:  serious?  fuzzypinky0:  in like what way AbstinanceroX:  everyway AbstinanceroX:
 lol fuzzypinky0:  and that is AbstinanceroX:  uh AbstinanceroX:  every way AbstinanceroX:  lol fuzzypinky0:  lol fuzzypinky0:
 i know that fuzzypinky0:  but AbstinanceroX:  like every part of our relartionship AbstinanceroX:  lol fuzzypinky0:  how meny part's are there AbstinanceroX:  HAHA fuzzypinky0:
 no really AbstinanceroX:  there is sex,  ummm,  support?  ummmmmm AbstinanceroX:  im sorry i think its funny AbstinanceroX:
 im laughing cuz i cant explain AbstinanceroX:  dont get pissy im trying to help fuzzypinky0:  what about sex fuzzypinky0:  iam not getting pissy AbstinanceroX:  what about sex?  AbstinanceroX:
 JUSTEN AbstinanceroX:  omg AbstinanceroX:  no you didnt fuzzypinky0:  what AbstinanceroX:  JUSTEN AbstinanceroX:  take it slow jesus christ fuzzypinky0:
 AbstinanceroX:  there is sex,  ummm,  support?  ummmmmm AbstinanceroX:  i am still a virgin fuzzypinky0:
 i know AbstinanceroX:  ME TOO fuzzypinky0:  i am fuzzypinky0:  ant i fuzzypinky0:  ?  AbstinanceroX:
 justen you are not AbstinanceroX:  stop it fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  iam sory AbstinanceroX:  its not funny seriously fuzzypinky0:
 i know it not funny fuzzypinky0:  iam not laugfing AbstinanceroX:  omg AbstinanceroX:  the first thing you say!  is what about sex!  fuzzypinky0:
 ya fuzzypinky0:  that is what you said AbstinanceroX:  BUT JUSTEN AbstinanceroX:  THAT IS NOT COOL AbstinanceroX:  I AM NOT YOUR WHORE fuzzypinky0:  i dont caer about that fuzzypinky0:
 i know AbstinanceroX:  sorry i never gave you head jesus but GOD fuzzypinky0:  i never said that fuzzypinky0:  it ok fuzzypinky0:  you dont have too fuzzypinky0:  it you chose AbstinanceroX:
 BUT JUSTEN AbstinanceroX:  tell me honestly fuzzypinky0:  ok AbstinanceroX:  if you thought that i wouldnt fuck you when you first met me. would you have continued like being with me?  fuzzypinky0:
 yes AbstinanceroX:  justen AbstinanceroX:  seriously AbstinanceroX:  you are a bit of a man whore fuzzypinky0:  iam fucking serious.  AbstinanceroX:
 ok AbstinanceroX:  but what if i said all sex has to stop AbstinanceroX:  what would you do?  fuzzypinky0:  yrs fuzzypinky0:  yes fuzzypinky0:
 as long as iam with you fuzzypinky0:  i wood do what you want me too fuzzypinky0:  do fuzzypinky0:  is that is nothign fuzzypinky0:  then nothing will happen fuzzypinky0:  ok AbstinanceroX:
 but sometimes i dont feel that convinced fuzzypinky0:  if you tell me no then i wont fuzzypinky0:  i swer AbstinanceroX:  havent i?  AbstinanceroX:  like AbstinanceroX:
 i have fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  iam sorry AbstinanceroX:  but somehow i am easily pressured fuzzypinky0:  about that AbstinanceroX:  you know that fuzzypinky0:
 i wont tery to do that fuzzypinky0:  any morer fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  sorry AbstinanceroX:  hmmmmmm AbstinanceroX:  justen AbstinanceroX:
 i dont know fuzzypinky0:  whaterver it take to still be together i will do it AbstinanceroX:  well see AbstinanceroX:  and thats kindof scarey AbstinanceroX:  its like AbstinanceroX:  you seriously are attatched fuzzypinky0:
 so AbstinanceroX:  but we are just little kids fuzzypinky0:  that is me fuzzypinky0:  you dont have to fell the same AbstinanceroX:  what if it wasnt me though?  AbstinanceroX:
 yeah but then that is wrong AbstinanceroX:  that is like AbstinanceroX:  using you fuzzypinky0:  how AbstinanceroX:  if i dont feel the same way about us as you do AbstinanceroX:  its wrong AbstinanceroX:
 its like fuzzypinky0:  on it nor fuzzypinky0:  not AbstinanceroX:  using you because you love me AbstinanceroX:  BUT IT IS AbstinanceroX:  you dont see justen fuzzypinky0:
 yes fuzzypinky0:  i know i dont AbstinanceroX:  justen that is why i feel guilty AbstinanceroX:  because i dont always feel the same way AbstinanceroX:  and sometimes i think i do AbstinanceroX:  i am unsure AbstinanceroX:
 and if i ever broke up with you AbstinanceroX:  youd be really hurt wouldnt you?  fuzzypinky0:  ya fuzzypinky0:  so AbstinanceroX:  that is not so AbstinanceroX:
 that is mean AbstinanceroX:  and i dont want to be mean justen AbstinanceroX:  i want to be honest AbstinanceroX:  but they dont go hand in hand fuzzypinky0:  you are AbstinanceroX:  but justen,
 if i stayed with you and didnt feel the same its also not fair to me fuzzypinky0:  some time you have too be mean to be hounest fuzzypinky0:  rember the turth hruts fuzzypinky0:  .  AbstinanceroX:  i dont like hurt fuzzypinky0:
 but you have too tell the truth AbstinanceroX:  i am trying fuzzypinky0:  well tell me the teuth fuzzypinky0:  so you want to be with me still fuzzypinky0:  right AbstinanceroX:  sometimes yes and sometimes no fuzzypinky0:
 y sometims no fuzzypinky0:  ?  AbstinanceroX:  i am just not always ready AbstinanceroX:  for what we have fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:
 then if you not redy i can wate fuzzypinky0:  if you can AbstinanceroX:  but justen AbstinanceroX:  i dont know if you would wait if i ended it with you AbstinanceroX:  what if we never came back AbstinanceroX:  or one of us didnt want to AbstinanceroX:
 the other one wouldnt be very happy fuzzypinky0:  hold on AbstinanceroX:  ok fuzzypinky0:  1 at a time fuzzypinky0:  AbstinanceroX:  i dont know if you would wait if i ended it with you fuzzypinky0:
 meaning fuzzypinky0:  what for what fuzzypinky0:  wait AbstinanceroX:  what if we broke up?  AbstinanceroX:  or i broke up with you i guess.
 AbstinanceroX:  you couldnt wait AbstinanceroX:  you know that AbstinanceroX:  you would want to move on fuzzypinky0:  no fuzzypinky0:  i woodent AbstinanceroX:
 justen AbstinanceroX:  be honest AbstinanceroX:  you think you wouldnt now fuzzypinky0:  you my last gf i will have AbstinanceroX:  but think realistically fuzzypinky0:  no fuzzypinky0:
 your my last chancs on girls AbstinanceroX:  why is that?  AbstinanceroX:  did i turn you gay?  fuzzypinky0:  becasue fuzzypinky0:
 on fuzzypinky0:  iam just not going to go out with girls again AbstinanceroX:  justen AbstinanceroX:  seriously AbstinanceroX:  you will fuzzypinky0:  unless it wood e with you AbstinanceroX:
 dont say that fuzzypinky0:  iam fucking seirous AbstinanceroX:  i dont believe you!  AbstinanceroX:  god justen AbstinanceroX:  alright AbstinanceroX:
 but even then AbstinanceroX:  that would make me feel like shit fuzzypinky0:  i can prove it too you fuzzypinky0:  go to hot mail fuzzypinky0:  and go to my account AbstinanceroX:  no just AbstinanceroX:
 nvm AbstinanceroX:  justen AbstinanceroX:  dont worry about it fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  but if you dump me AbstinanceroX:  JUSTEN STOP fuzzypinky0:
 ok AbstinanceroX:  DO NOT MAKE ME FEEL WORSE AbstinanceroX:  THIS IS HARD ENOUGH OK?  fuzzypinky0:  i sory fuzzypinky0:  ok AbstinanceroX:
 i dont want to stay together because i feel bad for hurting you and leaving you alone,  i want to stay together because i love you,  but right now i am not sure if i do AbstinanceroX:  do you understand me?  fuzzypinky0:  yes AbstinanceroX:
 ok AbstinanceroX:  because right now AbstinanceroX:  this hurts me alot fuzzypinky0:  mee too AbstinanceroX:  but i think its what i am trying to say fuzzypinky0:  it's over fuzzypinky0:
 ?  AbstinanceroX:  god AbstinanceroX:  i hate those words fuzzypinky0:  ya me too fuzzypinky0:  but it you chouse AbstinanceroX:
 god justen AbstinanceroX:  i dont like it AbstinanceroX:  but i think i have to fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  just y fuzzypinky0:  do you have too AbstinanceroX:
 i sortof spent like an hour explaining that to you.  fuzzypinky0:  lol fuzzypinky0:  i know fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  iam sorry fuzzypinky0:
 for wasting your time AbstinanceroX:  no AbstinanceroX:  god dont say that fuzzypinky0:  it was the best 5 mounth of my slfe AbstinanceroX:  justen fuzzypinky0:  i dont know who long i can type ofr AbstinanceroX:
 see why i didnt want to?  fuzzypinky0:  ya AbstinanceroX:  you dont know how bad i feel god fuzzypinky0:  but y live a lie fuzzypinky0:  no fuzzypinky0:
 no fuzzypinky0:  i do fuzzypinky0:  so we fuzzypinky0:  are fuzzypinky0:  over fuzzypinky0:  ?
 AbstinanceroX:  yes.  AbstinanceroX:  for now i guess.  fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:
 if tht is what you want fuzzypinky0:  but fuzzypinky0:  just if you get a nouther b f fuzzypinky0:  and do stuff with him fuzzypinky0:  like sex fuzzypinky0:  dont cumm back fuzzypinky0:
 ok fuzzypinky0:  please AbstinanceroX:  okjusten AbstinanceroX:  ok fuzzypinky0:  and we could still be frinds fuzzypinky0:  right AbstinanceroX:
 yes god AbstinanceroX:  yeah fuzzypinky0:  just frindes fuzzypinky0:  or moer fuzzypinky0:  or fuzzypinky0:  .
 AbstinanceroX:  ok AbstinanceroX:  justen i have to go fuzzypinky0:  no fuzzypinky0:  whte fuzzypinky0:  like 5 moer min fuzzypinky0:
 please fuzzypinky0:  iam thinkg AbstinanceroX:  i only have like two AbstinanceroX:  k?  fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:
 shot i for got fuzzypinky0:  wha ti was going to say but fuzzypinky0:  i still love you just want you to know that and i guees i will go find some one to talk too or try too fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  by AbstinanceroX:  bye fuzzypinky0:
 i will miss you AbstinanceroX:  you too fuzzypinky0:  oya and you only say by to the one that you love fuzzypinky0:  i hrud that some were fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  by AbstinanceroX:
 what?  AbstinanceroX:  ok.  AbstinanceroX:  bye fuzzypinky0 signed off at 9: 06:
15 PM.  fuzzypinky0:  o ya AbstinanceroX:  what?  fuzzypinky0:  tell you mom she is cool too AbstinanceroX:
 ok AbstinanceroX:  lol fuzzypinky0:  :  fuzzypinky0:  whit a: '(
 AbstinanceroX:  haha me too fuzzypinky0:  hey AbstinanceroX:  yeah?  fuzzypinky0:  one more fuzzypinky0:
 lol fuzzypinky0:  sorry AbstinanceroX:  k fuzzypinky0:  but fuzzypinky0:  wood you take me back fuzzypinky0:  if have done some things with a diffrent gilr AbstinanceroX:
 um AbstinanceroX:  that makes me really want to say no AbstinanceroX:  but probably fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  i will try not too fuzzypinky0:  but.
 fuzzypinky0:  iam sorry if i do AbstinanceroX:  yeah well you have your hand. but then again so do i AbstinanceroX:  gtg AbstinanceroX:  ok?
 AbstinanceroX:  bye fuzzypinky0:  ok fuzzypinky0:  by fuzzypinky0:  and AbstinanceroX:  JUSTEN fuzzypinky0:
 i dont think i wood belev too go thought with that anyways fuzzypinky0:  and plese dot cut you r self fuzzypinky0:  too AbstinanceroX:  haha ok.  AbstinanceroX:  yes dad AbstinanceroX:
 I GTG fuzzypinky0:  no AbstinanceroX:  lol fuzzypinky0:  daddy AbstinanceroX:  lol!  AbstinanceroX:
 bye justen!  AbstinanceroX:  bye fuzzypinky0:  8-  fuzzypinky0:  by sarah yeah i know.
fucking long. but whatever. uh,  tonight there is a big ass party under the bridge. justen better find his camera cuz i am gonna do some wild shit!  cuz i feel like it!
 RARRR!  and gtg. shannon emailed me woohoo!  no more crying you bad sarah.  stop it!  o well.
ill just cry it all out.
