  :: GATES OF THE UNKOWN :: Timeline: Past (Summer of 1995) Whatever happens, happens for a reason... ...at least that was what I kept repeating to myself for the rest of summer. When the results of the University exams were officially announced, I was delighted to hear that I achieved what I had always dreamed about.
I was accepted to Bayside University (for our new readers, the college is the Harvard equivalent of Ponderland) and was going to study Western Languages & Literatures specialized in English Literature. I was slightly disheartened at first because my initial goal was to study Translation at Bayside's School of Foreign Languages. Then again, the Faculty of Arts and Sciences did not sound utterly repellent, either. Later, I was going to thank the powers that be for ending up in my department since analyzing texts turned out to be something I was successful at... and above all, something that I really loved doing.
Since University degree is next to compulsory in Ponderland, I believe (apart from studying at School of Arts) this was the only department that I could put up with. All my friends were rejoiced since we all managed to pass the exam successfully. Parents were delighted... They showered their children with pride and love thinking they deserved everything they ever desired.
Abusing this atmosphere skillfully, my friends ended up receiving cars, holidays abroad, credit cards with boosted limits to shop till they drop, etc. All I got, though, was a pat on the back and a "We knew you'd make it". When everyone else was "gosh! "ing at my success, my father was the same old man who was always so darned sure about my success that he was not aware of the fact that this attitude lead to looking apathetic instead of what he believed it was mirroring, ie.
his trust in me. It had been like that all throughout my life. It would be useless to think that my first personal achievement would alter him. This is probably why there had been no reference to my father up until this point. He was the man who backed me up financially and constantly criticized me, that's all. My father's voice equaled a mistake I was to be faced with. It could be anything and everything ranging from the way I walked/talked to an actual mistake for which I needed some confrontation and parental guidance instead of unfavorable judgements (A reference goes to the logs covering my childhood.
Remember, I told you that when I was a little child, I was susceptible to such behavior from my mother in the form of physical violence thus, I was extra cautious against my father while he practiced a different form of the same pattern... Pleading guilty when I was not). After a while, I started ignoring his presence altogether because it was no use to expect some empathy from him. I was actually lucky that the higher education issue entered our reality just after my mother's death because it gave me an opportunity to stay out of him as much as possible. 40 days and 40 nights of celebrating success with friends came to an end when the Pre-registration period arrived. I was not dying to stay, anyway, thus, I started packing up and having said goodbye to everyone, returned to Ponderland. This time, my Grandmother moved in with us to help with our daily lives and taking care of the house which we were going to practically use as a hotel we didn't need to pay for from then on.
Although she had been dying to be with us after my mother's passing away, we disregarded this idea simply because we needed some time to adapt and adjust to a wife and mother's absence. ... As I stood up before the entering gates of my University on a day at the verge of fall, I took a deep breath and stood there for a while unsure of what lied beneath that entrance for me. A brand new beginning or a brand new ending? 
