  :  MY RUNNY VALENTINE :  Timeline:  Present Cats are crying,  Gates are slamming,  The wind is howling 'round the house tonight.
 The heavy snowfall revisiting Ponderland has been giving me the bliss per usual.  For the first time in my life,  I see snow on Valentine's and for some reason it makes me feel as if this day is special,  like no other.  3 nights agone,  I had a Moonwish,
 although I could not see the phase of the moon.  Moonwishes are most powerful when they are ritualized during Full Moon.  Simply one reaches out her hand towards the sky and the nocturnal orb,  gently grabs the Moon in their palm as they ball their hand into a fist,  make a wish and slowly opens the palm to put the Moon back its place.  This is a game I have been playing since I was a child.
 I actually carry the word " Moon"  in my real name for some delightful " coincidence"  because I haven't decided on a name during my transition but my friends did it for me,  rather.
 Still,  that is a story to be told later.  As for the miracle I wished for,  I can now witness that it is granted to me.  These last 2 days,  Ponderland has received the amount of snow she has not for more than 10 years.
 and today,  all around me is white,  purified and welcoming.  the streets are almost deserted.  Yesterday and today,  I have had the most splendid walks of my life among solitary streets painted a gleaming white.
 When I see people shoveling up the front of their apartments,  I have to suppress the urge to reach and stop them.  It makes me feel as if they are trying to wipe away something I have been looking forward to for so long.  I'm as lonely as a boat out on the sea When the night is black and the tide is high.  Oh on nights like these I feel like falling to my knees I feel like calling:  "
Heaven please find my love!  If I had had the future I look forward to,  I would have probably spent this day in a unique manner.  Not because it is Valentine's but simply because a snowy day like this fills me with an utmost sense of connection towards nature.  The integrity of my psyche surprises me when snowflakes waltz around me and more than once I'm heard to say,  "
I should've been born either in Canada or Scandinavia"  As one can see,  this has nothing to do with the fact that those countries can produce the likes of urlLink Marcus Schenkenberg ( Sweden)  ,  Keanu Reeves (
Canada)  Jim Carrey ( Canada)  urlLink David James Elliott ( Canada)  ,
 urlLink Sami Vaskola ( Finland)  ,  urlLink Lauri Kalima ( Finland)  ,
 urlLink Nikolaj Coster Waldau ( Denmark)  ,  urlLink Frederick Garlen ( Sweden)  ,
 urlLink Alex Lundqvist ( Sweden)  alongside thousands of unknown perfect creations of the cold climate lurking on the streets of the globe.  It wouldn't be a gross understatement if I said my heart belongs to Nordic,  thank you.  There is something about the descendants of Vikings.
 I turn the dial on my radio trying to find an all night station I want to hear a song I know,  a song about my situation.  Oh on nights like these I feel like falling to my knees I feel like calling:  " Heaven please find my love!  I would probably rent myself a handful of various movies ranging from creepy to romantic and buy perfumed candles to compliment my essential lavender incense.
 A bottle of Bailey's would be stored in the fridge as I cook my reknown urlLink Arrabbiata and sing away the implemented tunes of Fairground Attraction.  " On nights like this"  they are the best of choices for dinner.  I would call friends choking on their loneliness thanks to Valentine's marketing and couples' total disregard towards singles that day as they stalk the streets glued to each other ( honestly,
 I have enough glue for anyone who is up to present a DeBeer's set.  And you really thought diamonds aren't a girl's yada yada?  Tsk!  Whether friends joined me or not,  I should be the thoughtful Florence Nightangale,  I am.
 Somewhere out there there must be a boy for this girl Could be anywhere Could be next door or the other side of the world.  Call up my radio,  give them my number Tell them to put it out on the air!  There must be someone,  There must be someone like me sitting lonely as a boat out there.  Setting aside the who-
is- afraid- of- the- big- bad-
Valentine's theme and turning truthful mode on,  I would probably not have chosen to be alone on a day like this,  you know.  I have deliberately chosen not to have a relationship until I put my life back on track after my break up with my last boyfriend 2 years ago.  Up until that point,  while I was on the dating scene,
 I had had guys coming in and out of my life like there was no tomorrow.  and that was also because that was what I " chose"  back then although the why of it is still a mystery to me.  That period taught me so much about guys and their relationship patterns and enabled me to estimate the motives behind a guy's specific behavior 95%  correctly (
so what's the use of this unless I turn " Dear Aura"  Hell if I know!  Oh on nights like these I feel like falling to my knees I feel like calling:  " Heaven please find my love!
 For one thing I am grateful,  though.  and that is Valentine's never ever brings along special memories to me.  Never in my life have I had a proper relationship during this period.  Oh no that was a lie.  My last relationship coincided with Valentine's somehow and I was out with a friend because my boyfriend lived out of the city and it took like 4.
5 hours for him to go back and forth everyday.  That Valentine's he had to drop his family back home and he,  oh- so- unsurprisingly,  tried to soothe me going "
We'll make up for it as soon.  who needs a day when we celebrate our love every.  I will pamper you in a way you'll never forg.  None of those were necessary,  though.  I didn't want to do anything special,
 anyway and for those interested,  all he said went no further then save- the- moment- statments like I expected.  Find my love Find my love Find my love Oh.
 Find my love Find my love Find my love Allright that last piece was hysterical,  love.  Can we cut it?  Thank you.  Last Valentine's,  though,
 was the most memorable.  Me who had never had a special Valentine's was surprised by someone from whom I least expected a surprise.  As soon as I entered my Coccoon that night,  I spotted a little statuette placed atop the bedside table.  It was a young maiden,  holding a vase on her shoulder and the vase included a fake rose bud with even fake dew drops on its petals.
 Under it was a card and as soon as I read it,  I started sobbing so loudly that it obviously signaled my surpriser who came in almost immediately.  I hugged him tight and could not utter anything for long.  It took me almost 15 minutes to finally thank him with gratitude and love sparkling in my teary eyes.  He squeezed my shoulderblades compassionately as the card slipped from my hands and dropped on the bed.  It read:
 My dear daughter,  isn't your father's love enough?
