  I promise I am going to bed soon and will quit all this incessant posting .  but I just couldn't resist this funny I got from Jessica:  The following in an excerpt from a children's book,  "  urlLink Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants "  by Dave Pilkey.
 The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names.  Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:  a =  poopsie b =  lumpy c =  buttercup d =
 gidget e =  crusty f =  greasy g =  fluffy h =  cheeseball i =  chim-
chim j =  stinky k =  flunky l =  boobie m =  pinky n =  zippy o =
 goober p =  doofus q =  slimy r =  loopy s =  snotty t =  tulefel u =
 dorkey v =  squeezit w =  oprah x =  skipper y =  dinky z =  zsa-
zsa Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:  a =  apple b =  toilet c =  giggle d =  burger e =
 girdle f =  barf g =  lizard h =  waffle i =  cootie j =  monkey k =
 potty l =  liver m =  banana n =  rhino o =  bubble p =  hamster q =
 toad r =  gizzard s =  pizza t =  gerbil u =  chicken v =  pickle w =
 chuckle x =  tofu y =  gorilla z =  stinker Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:  a =  head b =
 mouth c =  face d =  nose e =  tush f =  breath g =  pants h =
 shorts i =  lips j =  honker k =  butt l =  brain m =  tushie n =
 chunks o =  hiney p =  biscuits q =  toes r =  buns s =  fanny t =
 sniffer u =  sprinkles v =  kisser w =  squirt x =  humperdinck y =  brains z =
 juice 
