  6:55 a.m. Wednesday, Day 38. So, not too bad yesterday. I kept myself to three drinks, and I put a lot of time between them. In fact, I felt drunker than when I have five drinks, and I didn’t even want any more. Maybe I can create a sort of revulsion in my mind about drinking too much.
I was reading on a blog yesterday, she talked about brainwashing herself out of wanting potato chips; she hung up sticky notes saying “potato chips = pain” all over the place, and otherwise repeating that message to herself. Eventually her brain believed it, and she didn’t crave them anymore. Then she did the same thing with sugar and white flour.
I'm not sure I want to go that route! On the other hand, there’s really nothing positive to be said about potato chips, and if you’re hovering on the edge of diabetes, have a serious junk food habit, and need to lose weight, then I guess potato chips are pretty evil. I just don’t like making those kind of associations with food. Food is neutral, in moral terms. It is more or less nutritious, more or less tasty than another food, but that’s it. So I’m a little undecided.
I just want my subconscious to decide something like: “I enjoy having two or three drinks maybe twice a week, or once a week, but more than that is not enjoyable and therefore I have no desire to do it.” That would be nice. So get to work, stupid subconscious. I’m planning on not gliding today. Or lifting weights. Or anything cardio. I feel like my body needs a recovery break. I might do the yoga tape, which I am miserable at. Baby steps. Reading a website that gives examples of food portions as common household objects. Like a half cup of broccoli is a lightbulb size. Am glad to see that I am generally overestimating what my portions are.
When I figure I put a tablespoon of butter into something, it’s more likely a teaspoon. Good news. 2:27 p.m. It’s really weird not working out today. I didn’t do the yoga, and it’s made me feel a bit rootless all day. I’ve been working on cleaning up my studio and the office which is still a giant mess. I can’t believe how much crap we have. Speaking of trash, they didn’t come last week because of the ice, so everyone left their cans out all week, because we assumed they would come later in the week. Nope. Now here it is the next official trash day, and almost 2:30, and they haven’t come yet.
Interesting. They’ve probably gone out of business and not bothered to tell anyone. 8:27 p.m. OK, here’s what I want to talk about. I spent the afternoon at Daisy’s, and planned to allow myself some leeway in the junk food department. When we shopped for snacks at Wal-Mart, everything was so ridiculously high in calories, I just couldn’t do it. I mean, I WANTED Pringles and Crunch ’n Munch, but I just couldn’t stand the idea of eating 600 calories in one little snack. So I got a WW dinner, and had just a FEW of the delicious taquitos and ginger snaps. I still came out under ttwp, even with a Coke!
I am impressed with myself. The idea of how bad I would feel about getting behind in my dieting was enough of a deterrent. Now for the really cool news: There was a scale in the bathroom. I decided What the hell, let’s just see. So guess what it was? It was 240. You know what that means? It means I’ve lost AT LEAST ten pounds. Maybe even fifteen. I know I can’t be too exact with it, because I didn’t know my real starting weight, but the last two times I was weighed at the doctors, I weighed 255 and 263. I might have even lost TWENTY pounds. Daisy said the scale was accurate. Can you believe it?
I almost can’t. I guess I’m not going to believe it until I fit into those damned Measurement Pants. Which I think I will, by the end of Month Two. Which will be in two and a half weeks. Also please note that I didn’t drink today. 
