  Last year for my birthday (the one in 2003, not 2004... Or maybe it was Christmas 2002? One or the other. Let's go with birthday), my husband gave me a little Boyds bear. I pulled it out of the suitcase I'd had it in since last August and was sitting it up on a shelf when I noticed that one leg was longer than the other, and I jokingly said, "Ahhh... Poor little bear has Polio or whatever it is that makes you need the special shoes to correct the leg length," then "..and it's hips are out of whack. Poor thing needs surgery," and none of it in a serious tone or anythihng. Well.. this made husband start to tear up.
Guess it hurt his feelings or something. I put the bear on the shelf and went into the bedroom and was saying to myself, "No. No, don't you DARE try to make me feel guilty or act like it's because you still love me. Don't you DARE! Not when you haven't touched me or hugged me or kissed me or anything in over four years and don't ever even say 'I love you'. " And on and on in that vein in my head. Telling him I want a divorce should be tons of fun when it rolls around.
I'd considered the 148 day (halfway) mark, but as it turns out, that's December 4th, smack between Thanksgiving and Christmas/New Year's, and that'd really ruin those. So I'm thinking I'll hold off about a month and tell him at the beginning of January, if things are all going well enough that I'll be able to carry through. Please, please let them be going well enough. I have GOT to get out of here. signed - Me PS - Another cathartic song from the past few days: from urlLink Justin Hayward's " urlLink The View From the Hill " - urlLink Something to Believe In 
