  Good morning! Yesterday was weird, but I'm living. Went to p.net around 1:30-ish. Got to JJ's by 5. Work at Jimmy Johns seemed to last forever... and I have to go back today... dammit. I get out of work rather early though.
3pm. I don't know what I'm going to do with my spare time. Probably finish cleaning those stupid fish tanks. Last night after work I called Michelle before calling Ned. She told me something was going down, but wouldn't give me details. I called Ned then headed over to his place to get up to speed on the nights occurrences.
Apparently, this is going off of what both of them told me, so I might get screwed up, but this is from my own understanding / opinion. So Michelle went out to get gas (because she now has enough cigarettes, right? buy one get one free. fourteen holes for fourteen dollars) and then stopped by Ned's place. Ned told me she was super pissed and slammed on the breaks... blah blah blah. And Michelle admitted to being angry but she said he was exaggerating a bit.
She chewed him out and told him not to hurt me, she did a very fine job of standing up for me. She didn't want our friendship to get weird or be disturbed by any of Ned and I's actions... and personally, I was thinking the same thing. I love Michelle to death, and care about her so that I would never want to do anything to hurt her or the friendship we share. Now, granted, I do want to get to know Ned and perhaps be intimate with him, and that's something that Michelle would more than likely have a problem with. In that respect, I'm torn to make this oddly hard decision... or lack there of. To put a wonderful friendship on the line, or to cut off relations with someone I'm getting to know.
And as for Ned, he's a great guy. With some of the things I've heard from Michelle I sometimes wonder if it's all an act. He seems, I wouldn't say it pure, but honest in his actions... at least for the moment. I really don't know what to think. I try so hard not to judge off of what others have told me, and in this case it's been alright. I haven't had that many problems in this situation... but it's always in the back of your mind.
You know? Damn, this is really hard for me to write about. We're all victims of our own decisions and actions. A forbidden smile is so inviting Humans try so hard to grasp what is out of reach We are the immortal toddlers And the cookie jar is allowed to those tall enough to reach Other than that, Reanda found out about Josh and I. Oh well, it was going to happen sooner or later. I know this world is some kind of giant game of telephone, and no one can ever keep their fucking mouths shut. So much for trust.
Such a thing is fought over, fawned after, and lost too easily. And Reanda can't stay pissed for too long. She can hate me, hold a grudge or whatever, and I can blow it off like a feather of weight on my shoulders. But as for Josh, he is her life line and I don't believe she would be so easy to turn down love or sex. Although, I don't doubt that she would do the opposite either. Last night was spent getting stoned with Ned.
We smoked out on the back porch, then headed in. And yes, I'm still going to edit my profile just for you, Ned. "Look at that asshole of a dog. " "How can you say that the dog's an asshole when you were just complaining about being a gentile? " Grand, it was. We headed up to his room and 'broadened my horizons in music for a half-an-hour.
' Got a call from Michelle, it was 1am by then, so I decided to go home before talking with her about anything. We're hanging out tonight at William's. CANTU NEEDS TO CALL ME DAMMIT!! *yawn* How am I going to last the day as sleepy as I am? We'll see. Your heart is a star And I am a child with dreams of rockets and astronauts If these dreams are true I will continue to smile For the fight is the best part To gain a part of you To fill a part of me.
More to come later... damn, this entry was way too long. 
