  (To Nickkie) I know you are busy and it seems that setting another time for us to talk would be impossible for the next couple of weeks. I understand that there are so many things happening in your life right now and in as much as I would like to be a part of it, circumstances do not allow it. You wished that I am not mad at you. Your wish is granted. I am not mad at you. I can never be mad at you. The love that I have for you will always purify anger in my heart. If I could only wish for that day when I would greatly hate you, then letting you go would be so much easier. I cannot hate you for all these but I am not going to deny the fact that you have deeply hurt me. I know, at the very least, that by virtue of our friendship, you would never ever deliberately hurt me. Moreso, because you said you truly love me. But then, you are the only person who can intensely hurt me. You have that much power over me because I have warranted you with great control over my heart. I love you that much.
Time and time again, I have asked myself why I allow myself to be in this misery. I questioned myself for allowing myself to be a part of your life again. You were perfectly fine before I came back to your life. I asked why I still persevere when you’ve already given up on us. Despite the intelligence that other people admire in me, I have flaunted so much foolishness. I only have one answer. My mind is filled with a lot of questions with insensible answers... and my heart? Abundant with love but is drowned in pain.
I long for you. Greatly tempted as I am to just tell you that I will swallow everything just to have you back, I am not sure if that would do you any good. My heart tells me that I can accept everything that it may take just to have you again. Without a choice, I am in battle, confronted by my adversaries in your life – school, work and singing. Just let me take you through all that: School and work. No question. I will always give way. I can never question why you can’t see me because of school and work. I am proud of how responsible you have become in these aspects. You know that I will support you and extend any form of help that I can give you just to make you succeed and excel in these endeavors. Singing. I am pleased to see that you are enjoying singing in the choir and in the chorale. I am even more pleased because it has become your channel to express yourself, develop friendships and ultimately serve the Lord.
I know that there should be no competition between me and your priorities. To have a balanced life, you need all that. But since you felt that you cannott handle all that if I am in your life, you chose to let go of me despite your claim for great love for me. Your text message struck me tonight. I love singing and it is one of my priorities right now . Fair enough. It is logical and fit to prioritize what we love, right? I never asked you to let go of anything that is important to you.
No matter how painful it is for me to see you torn between me and something else when we were together, I would try to find a way to understand. I was consoled with your words of assurance that you love me. But now, no matter how many times you tell me how much you love me, I will still be letting you go thinking that I was not deeply loved and cared for. After all, I was the one who was voted out from your life. I just cannot reconcile the fact that you are letting me go when you said that I am the best thing that has ever happened in your life.
I am saying goodbye. It was a long and hard decision, one that I am taking with a grain of salt. But in time, it will be for the best. I have no regrets. Loving you has given me so much inspiration and happiness. Loving you has humbled me. Loving you has given me life. With that, I still want to thank you.
I pray that in reclaiming myself, I could still look back and smile at the memories that we made together. As I take my steps away from you, I will bring with me my prayers for your well-being. We have been very good friends through the years. My greatest consolation is that I know that we will remain good friends until the end of our days but I need to do this for now. I just need some time to nurse my heart. Just the same, know that I will always be here for you as a friend. Should you be in dire need, you know how and where to find me. Always take care. Good luck. God bless. 
