  not really long enough to make a post but I was thinking yesterday about that year I spent "loving you", or so I thought, and I realized that I don't even know what I loved about you. I thought you were very special-but having met many people since with the same intrests as myself, I realized that that wasn't unique at all. I usually find every person have some value, and you did in that I learned something valuable from you being a compulsive liar.But beyond that...I really don't think you had much value at all. I think perhaps you were the last sputter of a light in my life too long lit. The only thing I wonder, as I look at a picture of myself during that time, was where was I in my mind that I let myself be so involved in that-how did I delude myself so deeply?
I've been thinking a lot lately about the specifics of loving people. They can fool you, but also you can fool yourself. Completely. And it makes me very suspicious and very careful. Ive been digging lately-trying to find the source of all this within myself. I hate that I can't keep going on this but I have to go. 
