  the temple's doorway fucking stupid, fucking stupid, stupid, stupid stupid stupid. I have to conquer this.
This will not take over my life and ruin everything that comes into it. What is it I am trying to find? I saw my old therapist while I was at the grocery. Strange...She and I are going to speak tomorrow. I hope to see her this week. I need silence, quiet, inner time. I need to stop running, even if it doesnt seem like running. I need focus. I think it's time for me to step away for a while. I sat at a red light on Poydras yesterday and watched Jonathan at work.
He didn't see me. I was overwhelmed with sadness. I know he's parasitic and that I've done the right thing. So why then does it still hurt me, even though I've made a choice for my own self preservation? The night before last I dreamt of dogs devouring their young. 
