  Yesterday felt like we were a couple again -- at least for some moments. I love spending time with her; it's never a dull, boring moment with her. Traffic is somewhat my bestfriend when I'm with her. But then again, when difficult subjects arise, it's a different story. Anyway... I had a really weird dream this morning. I was supposed to still have my braces on but then it was kinda loose so when I tugged on it, some of the brackets came off. Here's the weird part... When I tugged on it, some of my teeth came off while some brackets tore off a part of some teeth. Parang I had a chip on my tooth. I was so disturbed by it that I couldn't open my mouth daw and when I did, it was only to stare at my teeth. I told my dad about this and he said that my dream might have bad messages with it (that someone I know will die).
Of course I push the thoughts aside -- it's too early to be morbid. I guess it was only because we went to a wake last night. Or maybe I'm thinking of the wrong interpretation. Whatever. --- Is she or isn't she? Still in love with B, that is. Or B still in love with G. Whatever. It was kinda awkward to see her in a setting different from the usual meetings. In a social setting, seeing her caused my stomach to do flip-flops and for me to start getting weird paranoid thoughts. (Is G still in love with her? Is B still not over my G? Are they wishing they were together? What do their friends think? What is G thinking while B is telling a story? What is G thinking while B retells her story about missing a turn and her studying etc etc?
Does G wish I was more like B? Is it really over between them? ) It's so complicated, our situation. I had her first but she left me for her. She went back to me after a year and a few months. Then she left me again for her. Then they broke up and she went back to me. Then we broke up and they got together again. It didn't work out between them now she's with me again.
I have her but she's not happy. How can I not live with so much baggage when the situation is like this? She doesn't really understand where I'm coming from, I think. And I am trying to understand where she's coming from. But for the life of me, we're not seeing eye to eye. Oh well. At least we're having some fun. Forget that the kind of fun we're having is oh-so-wholesome. Fun is fun. --- But then again, what do I say or think when she asks me what do I do if we never get intimate again? 
