  Hmm... there's so much that I have to say, but there's just no clear way to say it. To put it quite concisely, I am disturbed by what I see in the world. I really want everything to go away. Call me a naive fool, but I'd really be much more happy if I saw the world co-existing peacefully. Because... you have to understand... it bothers me. See... I'm even writing an entry about it when I really ought to be working. I was chatting with someone couple of days ago, and I said that I despised the world. Because I do, right? I said that I didn't really hope about anything... and that kind of makes me a real pessimist, and that's kind of funny because I usually consider myself as an optimist.
But I don't really expect anything out of the world. I told her that everything was just me vs. them. And who is them? Everybody. But you know... everso often it happens that I read blogs and stuff, and I find that there are people out there who aren't totally loony. Some of are really intelligent and rational people... who aren't blinded by ideologies and "us versus them" mentality. They actually talk sense. So for a moment I start to think that maybe there actually ARE people out there who make sense. For the most part, I'm always convinced that the world is out there to kill me. She said that I was "disturbed"... hehe.
But then sometimes I read people and I see that hey, not everybody is bad like I think. However, that is also a short lived feeling - which lasts about till the next time I check a newspaper or read some lunatic comments on mesageboards. Then I go back into "see! I told you the world is full of crazy yahoos" state. It's all this hate which keeps driving me up the wall. I told her that I got judaism as my top ranked religion. She asked me if I'd go to Israel then. I told her I wanted to go to jerusalem. But if I'd go there, I was pretty sure both Israelis and Palestianians would cohort together and kill me. Then they'd go back to killing each other. She said 'see... there's no escape. there'll always be somebody out there who hates you no matter where you are. ' That's why I wanted a jungle! Lunatic people, societies, countries, whole goddamn world - fighting and killing everyone over land, water, oil, language, state, religion....
PRIDE! nuts, totally nuts! The whole lot of them... crazy, insane lunatics! On top of it all, this nut keeps sending me me emails with viruses in them. I mean... this is getting too much you know? I mean... all I want is some peace of mind! At least cut it out with the viruses if not other things!!!! And I'm sick of people fighting over religion. They should go and abolish religion! And I don't like people taking extreme positions. That includes people who have conspiracy theory as a hobby and keep blaming everything on the government AND people who adopt a our-government-is-an-embodiment-of-holiness policy. Get real! Damn people keep taking a hardline approach on either sides. both of them are nuts. Bah... i hate the world. 
