  Greetings. Heya all, got some angst at last, i wondered were it had gone really. Lol well here it is, for all to see and read about. I just got a lot of annoying shit on my mind at the moment and i need to rid myself of some of it.
I guess ive got a lot of problems with this whole task i got with the book, i really wanna get it done, to achieve somethign during this ten week and do something i really enjoy doing but the problem is my minds not letting me. Yup writers block, it just gets you so hard because not only does it stop you writing so you cant enjoy yourself, it also reminds you the reasons as to why youve got it. Just basicly gives you all your angst, reheated, rehashed and right back from were you last vomited it up.
You know all the reasons for this worry and pain may seem insignificant to some people but they are really there. Like the little things people say to you, sometimes they mean nothing, and other times they really hurt. Just makes me wonder about the point in having feelings sometimes, you know when something you feel about strongly is directed at something that will never care, be concerned or even bother to validate the excistance of a feeling, then what is the point in having that feeling in the first place? It Hurts to love, so Hurt loves itself. I sometimes feel if god made us... he made us wrong. I mean the human mind is obsessed by massive gestures and feelings, the simple things on a base level never seem enough.
Basicly like Breed 77 Say "If i paint you a picture and the paint is yet to dry, could you live with jsut a whisper? " The Truth is, most people cant. Another thing that annoys the ever loving hell out of me is the way some people believe they are better than you.
Now normaly i would just laugh this off, but you do always wonder why. Lets face it they are quite obviously fuckers who use all there fancy terms and shit to tell you how sane they are compared to you and that your experssion, is just some 'Teenage' thign that some people go through. Who gives them the right to declare that on you like so much garbage from a great height. I guess in the end everyone is self obsessed, its biologicaly in our genes to be, but how do people take it so far as to shout at you in the streets and hang round in packs, imtimadating people, and basicly crushing.
Why do people feel the need to validate their excistance by hurting others? I believe that if people decided to understand rather than judge a bit more, society would be better, for example if someone paints a picture in black and red, does that make them insane... no. If someone writes a story that isnt about teenage crushs, and doesnt have a pink cover does it make it a bad book... no. If someone weres a diffrent shirt to someone else, does that make them a bad person... No. But its all well and good preaching a world of no lables and be neutral. But there is a very large problem with that. If you are neutral, and let peopel spite you and not spite back, you have aloud someone permission to punish someone else. Kinda like passing on a worry. Now i cant do that. I guess you could say that i am flawed on the basic level that i will call you a chav, or a prep or wahtever, but only if you opress me.
Nobody should be aloud to hurt someone else. But i guess thats why i feel this writers block, because of my flaws, and my problems, but i work on a very basic principle of balance, and today someone pushed the scales the wrong way for me. Thx for listening. Ben. ---------------- "People can do great things if others believe in what the creator themselfs cannot believe in" I will always believe that you have the power to do what you want, even if you cant. 
