  Wow it has been a long time since I've been on here. It seems to be a reoccuring theme don't you think? For some odd reason I will write a post and then a ridiculous amount of time will drift by before I get any sort of inspiration to write. I have no idea why, other than the fact I always seem to be so fucking busy that even if I&nbsp;am wasting time on the computer I can never seem to focus enough to write a post. Not that it isn't good to be busy... I'd rather be busy than bored, but so often I find myself with little time to do other things I miss because I am so busy doing the normal routine and occupied with various other nonsense.
Stupid chores, cleaning, laundry, and dishes...&nbsp;boy I am sick of&nbsp;doing that crap.&nbsp;My&nbsp;lazy roomate needs to lend a hand. Another thing is, I seriously could save 5 minutes of my day if the damn cat didn't kick her litter out of the box. As a cat owner, I must accept this normal, yet extremely irritating behavior because thats what they fucking do. Who the fuck knows why, but it happens. Anyway... it would take far less time if the damn broom didnt have to be locked away in the bathroom and kept in the hallway closet. Yes, for those of you who have been to my apartment, the bathroom is a mere 10 feet from the closet, but it is still a pain in the ass to have to go back and forth with the broom just to pick up some damn litter. Yet if I keep the broom in the closet, the cat has the ability to slide open the door, get in the closet and proceed to chew and rip pieces of the broom off and deposit them through out&nbsp;the closet and in various areas of the apartment.
This creates a new disaster because then I have to get out the damn vacuum cleaner and&nbsp;suck that shit up. Damn cause and effect. Basically, this is a petty rant, which I have no idea how I got onto, but its little shit like that, that I have to do, not always every day, but enough to cause me serious irritation. Not to mention how I have to keep my own closet in my room barricaded so the cat won't get in there to chew on my shoelaces and then eat them.
Its unreal. I love my cat, but because I have&nbsp;to &nbsp;keep practically everything out of her reach and the annoyance it causes me, is like a slow death over a roasting fire... it degrades me day by day especially when I am stressed out. And then she goes and gets her toys stuck under the couch which is impossible to move b/c a) its so freakin heavy due to the pull&nbsp;out queen size bed b) two out of the 4 legs arent held on too well and always fall off so tipping the couch to find her toys doesn't work and c) once you get them out from under there, they get stuck back the very next day. And the crux of it is, she'd rather play and destroy my shit, then the shit I buy for her to play with and destroy b/c thats what it is for!!!!!!!!!!
&nbsp; Sigh ok enough of that... moving on.... again people my brain is weird tonight so I am gonna just go with it. Even though, I have to be up at the ass crack of dawn for the management meeting at work... fun fun joy joy! But seriously, I have no clue where that came from. Ugh. I also work way too much. The cost of living sucks and the fact I get half time supplemental pay for all my overtime hours sucks even more because I have to work that many more hours just to get a decent amount of extra money to help pay the bills and actually be able to have some semblence of a life. Which I do and I am thankful for, it would be nice if I felt like all my hard work was getting me somewhere.&nbsp;Also, time goes by so quickly, it is hard to truely enjoy my free time. That is why I keep myself so busy and I haven't had the time to post. Besides, I was hoping to come back in a better mood according to my last dismal offering. Alas, things haven't gotten any better in the o'l love life... which last time I checked, I really don't have one.&nbsp;&nbsp;I &nbsp;guess the chicks just aren't attracted to this nice guy. I really am starting to believe there is something seriously wrong with me. I have no clue what I am doing and even if I do something in some sense of positiveness (is that even a word?
haha) I feel like I am this big doof who should just shut up, go stand in the corner and just accept the fact he is gonna be alone. I guess that is another reason I stay so busy and do so much... gotta keep my mind off of it because when it wanders that way, oh shit look out... miserable I can be! (yes yes cheap Yoda ripoff... uh huh I'm a Star Wars freak... feel better for pointing&nbsp;that out? sure you do! hahaha yup I'm weird) &nbsp; shit laundry should be done brb! 12:30 am &nbsp; Ok I'm back... now to fold and blog at the same time.
I don't think it can be done, but we shall see. So yea... the love life, or lack thereof, really has no hope. I honestly don't really have any real possibilities for any happiness in that aspect of my life whatsoever. I think that I am being punished or something... maybe in a past life I got constant booty or something.
I don't understand why it is so freakin difficult. I know I am not alone in this fact and that plenty of people go through this, but the fucked up thing is that according to friends and acquaintances I am this great person, who is kind and respectful, hard working&nbsp;and gets along with everyone and is liked&nbsp;by everyone, yet I can't even seem to find one person who likes me and wants to be with me? I know one person who likes me, but she is not here and honestly I don't think will ever be here and even if she did find someway to get here, in the long run it would never work out. I don't want to make her sad because I am sure she will read this, but frankly, I have done the long distance thing and it has never worked for me.
At&nbsp;26 years old, I am in no means ready to settle down in&nbsp;any&nbsp;sense of the word, but I am ready for a&nbsp;serious relationship that can only occur with someone who is here. I've been hurt too often to hold out hope for anything these days. I've been let down so many times, that in all honesty, I don't count on anything&nbsp;working out for me&nbsp;anymore and that is sad to say.
Sooooo.... that being said... its not like I am giving up on anything at all positive in this aspect of my life, I just dont see anything happening for me. It has been so long since anything at all has happened, so what is there to make me believe things will suddenly get better or change? I have been incredibly patient and enjoyed being single, but I can go only so long without having someone special in my life before I start to go crazy... thankfully I have it somewhat under control, but I am slowly losing it.
Ugh... &nbsp; Sorry to cut this off so quickly, but I gotta go before&nbsp;I really start the pity trip in full motion. Its late and I have a clear conscience so I need to hit the sack. I am neither sad nor happy, I am just content. I will be fine... I always am. This rambling isn't to get sympathy or to show you how pathetic I have become, because I am not.
I am stronger than this might lead you all to believe, but I am sick of being alone. I am&nbsp;so fucking tired of it. I love my independence, but I'd rather have half as much and have someone to be with as well. &nbsp; Well&nbsp;I really must be going now. I just heard some disturbing news that Foulke blew another save opportunity for the Red Sox tonight... they better still fuckin win this game or I and every other Sox fan is gonna be so pissed off. Bronson Arroyo pitched another amazing game only to have this shit happen. Sorry Bro, hopefully next time. &nbsp; Ok I'm out. 
